


Degree

by mywasteddream



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fandom, M/M, Stalking behavior, mentions of other johnnys, not really in chronological order
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-15
Updated: 2015-09-15
Packaged: 2018-04-20 22:07:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 22,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4803989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mywasteddream/pseuds/mywasteddream
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jun is a self-proclaimed Ohno Satoshi number one fan, despite having never come to the send off after the concert because of his rigid work ethics. He took a leave especially for Ohno Satoshi's 10 years anniversary tour. It was after the Osaka concert that he heard Ohno singling out a fan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Degree

**Author's Note:**

> This started from a prompt given by my friend J, “Will you still love me when i’m no longer young and beautiful”.  
> It's half-way inspired by TK from Lin Toshite Shigure's Contrast. 
> 
>  
> 
> unbetaed.

When Satoshi went out from the back of the concert hall, he saw him again. That man has been a fan since the very beginning, when he sang in front of stations and parks during his early university years. It’s been almost fifteen years since then, and that man never failed to come to all of his lives in Tokyo. This was the first time Satoshi saw him outside the capital city and he just felt like he wanted to say thank you.  
  
Satoshi waved to the crowds and people who are standing there squealed. Most of his fans were females, but he had some male fans waiting at the back door too.  
  
_Nino?_  
  
“We should move now,” Sho, his manager reminded him, “and catch the last shinkansen to Nagoya.”  
  
“How many minutes do we have, Sakurai-kun?” Satoshi asked.  
  
Sho sighed. He knew how Ohno Satoshi liked to serve the fans who were waiting at the gate after lives. He would sign albums or posters and sometimes take pictures with them too. “Ten minutes. No, seven, until I remind you again.” He scooted towards his assistant, Masaki. “Aiba-kun, remind him to go to the car in seven minutes, and drag him to the car if needs be.”  
  
Masaki gave the manager a thumb up and went to Satoshi to make sure the fans did not hurl themselves into the singer. It was good that most of the fans behave well. This is Japan, after all, all he needed to do was to remind them to keep quiet and they would obey.  
  
Some women were asking photograph with the singer, and Masaki kindly helped.  
  
“Excuse me,” a voice was heard, and as Masaki returned one of the woman's phone, he saw a tall man with wavy hair and strong looking eyes calling him, “Is it okay if I ask for your help to take picture too?”  
  
“Sure.”  
  
The man handed his phone to Masaki, and jogged a little to Satoshi.  
  
“Ohno-san,” he said to Satoshi, “can I have my picture taken with you?”  
“Sure,” Satoshi answered and posed together with the man, but he was distracted as he noticed how the person he wanted to greet actually stepped a little away and let other fans to get closer.  
  
“And could you sign my CD?” the man asked again.  
  
Satoshi turned back towards the man. “Sure. What’s your name?”  
  
“Jun. Like the moist, Jun.”  
  
Satoshi wrote the name in latin letters instead with a note of thanks and handed it to the fan. The tall fan looked so happy, and at most time Satoshi would give more attention to fans that he just met, but today he just had to greet his first fan, because this was not Tokyo.  
  
"Ohno-san," Masaki called him, "we have a shinkansen to catch." And he turned to the fans, telling them to give way for them.  
  
Ohno saw the person he wanted to talk to stepped even further away and started to feel a little anxious. "Nino," he called. He usually would not single out any fan during such occasion because it would not be fair for the rest. But just today, because it was not Tokyo, and Nino was there.  
  
The man stopped short and looked at him. He heard. Satoshi mouthed a "thank you" at the fan, eyes locked on each other, before Sho grabbed him by the arm and took him to the van, stressing that shinkansen would leave with or without them, and his manager would be happier if all of them managed to go to Tokyo with the scheduled shinkansen.  
  
"See you again!" Satoshi waved his hand, half for the loyal fan that he had and half for the rest of fans who were waiting there for him, perhaps some of them would be stranded at nearby internet cafe or karaoke, because the last train might have gone without them.  
  
  
+++++  
  
It was the first time Jun managed to wait for Ohno Satoshi after the show. Usually he would have to hurry home because he had train to catch and work starting early the day after. But for this ten year anniversary tour, Jun took leave from his office and went to Osaka, Nagoya, and of course, Tokyo concert. Finally, after following the singer since his debut, he could wait at the back of the concert hall and met him for real. And today was special, it was exactly the date of Ohno Satoshi's first single release.  
  
He heard a lot about how Ohno Satoshi always gave time to greet the fans personally after lives, and he sometimes regretted his working ethics that he put work first and his favorite singer second, that only after ten years of becoming a fan -and obtain a fanclub number that had two digits- he saw Ohno Satoshi in person. He had never joined fan meet and greet, because somehow they were always on weekdays and or happening at the same time with a project in Jun's working place.  
  
When the back door opened, Jun felt rooted to his place. Everything felt like a slow motion like those cheesy romantic movies. His eyes focused on the figure walking in lazy steps followed by several staffs. He could hear some other fans calling Ohno Satoshi. He saw the singer waving his hand to the fans and talked to someone from the staffs. Then the singer walked closer to his general direction. It jerked him out of his reverie because a woman bumped at him when she rushed forward.  
  
Jun managed to pull himself together and stepped forward to his favorite singer. Two women asked a staff to take their picture together with the singer and Jun followed suit. The staff was very kind and helped taking his picture.  
  
"And could you sign this for me?" Jun took out the limited edition first single that he prized and handed it to Ohno together with a permanent marker.  
  
"Sure. What's your name?" The singer asked.  
  
"Matsumoto Jun," he answered, "like the moist, Jun."  
  
He saw that Ohno was distracted with something as he did not even look at the CD that he signed, and wrote scribble of "to JUN", name written in latin letters instead of kanji, above a signature that was rather unreadable.  
  
Jun followed the singer's line of sight and saw another man standing a little away from there. The man had been standing at the front row of the fans waiting at the backdoor, but when the singer came out and walked towards the fans, he shied away and escaped the commotion.  
  
"Ohno-san," the kind staff who helped taking picture called the singer, "it's time to go now." He smiled at the fans and told them that they were in a hurry.  
  
Some fans who did not have time to personally talk to the singer looked disappointed, but they backed away. Jun took a step backwards and watched as the singer was taken by the hand by his manager and walked towards the waiting van.  
  
It was that time that the singer called someone who was standing among the fans. "Nino!" the voice was clear but not really loud enough to go over the fans who were still squealing. Jun saw the man he noticed before standing more rigid, and the singer mouthed a thank you.  
  
A ghost of smile appeared on the small built man who were standing not far away from him. And Jun wished he could be the one smiling, if the thank you would ever be given personally to him rather than in general direction of the fans, divides into tiny pieces for each of the 30.000 fans who were at Kyocera Dome that time.  
  
Then Ohno's  face brightened up and he said loudly to the crowd, "See you again!" And disappear into the van. The vehicle made its way out towards the station. Jun waved along with the rest of the fans and watched the vehicle until it disappeared.  
  
Time to head to hotel soon, Jun told himself, but he could not stop himself watching thin built man. He was not sure if it was jealousy or merely his fanboy need to know everything, literally everything, about his favorite singer, but he decided that he would talk to the man no matter what.  
  
+++++  
  
"Nino!" He heard his name being called and he stood rigid. He did not expect the singer to call him, but he looked up and stared into those sleepy looking eyes. The singer mouthed something that looked like "thank you" and he could not help but smile. Satoshi Ohno noticed that he was here, in Osaka' leg of the tour.  
  
He watched Sakurai, the singer's manager dragging Satoshi into the car, followed by the assistant manager, Aiba. A part of him felt embarrassed because he was being singled out among the fans, but he felt very happy that Satoshi noticed that he was there and even made effort to thank him.  
  
This was the first time for Nino to watch Ohno Satoshi's live concert outside Kanto region. He even skipped that one time Satoshi - Oh-chan, he called the singer - played in Saitama Super Arena in one of the music festival, because it was just too much travel for five songs from his favorite singer, and the line-up had not been that good either.  
  
"Nino is so lucky to be noticed," said Yuriko, another fan whom he had met many times in Tokyo while waiting for after live greetings. There were not many male fans who would wait for that, and Yuriko thought that it was enough reason to start talking with him about five years ago. They even exchanged emails and worked together to obtain better seats for the lives. This 10 years anniversary tour too, they each enrolled the ballot for two tickets and used whichever better tickets and sold the rest.  
  
Nino laughed sheepishly, hiding half of his face with his left palm. "He must be surprised to see me outside Tokyo."  
  
Yuriko slaps him on the shoulder, "You should have talked to him. Why are you shying away?"  
  
"I'm happy enough to see him. I have plenty of his signature and whatnot anyway." Nino picked up his bag that he put on the floor. "Where are you staying?"  
  
"My cousin is waiting at the parking lot. I'm staying over at her place. Where are you staying? We have a car, so we can drop you by."  
  
Nino shook his head, "I'll just walk to my hotel. It's not that far."  
  
"See you at Shin Osaka tomorrow, then!" The young woman waved her hands and walked towards the station along with the thinning crowd.  
  
"The hotel, then," Nino talked to himself and walked to a different direction. There were some others walking to the same direction with him too. Since Ohno Satoshi only tour the big cities - Osaka, Nagoya, Fukuoka, Sapporo, and Tokyo - fans from other prefectures would have to stay overnight or rush for night buses or shinkansen after the lives.  
  
He was about to cross the bridge at the beginning of Sennichimae Dori when someone asked him.  
  
"Are you going to the hotel near the station?" a young man called him. At first Nino was thinking if the man was local yankee who were looking for trouble because the man had quite intimidating eyes, and he was thinking of ignoring him, but he realized that the man was not talking in Kansai dialect and he was carrying tote bag from Ohno Satoshi's first live.  
  
Nino nodded.  
  
"We're walking to the same hotel, it seems," the man said. He continued again, "mind if I walk together? I don't see many male fans waiting for Ohno-san, so might as well getting to know each other?"  
  
"Sure," Nino answered. He was never active in getting to know people, but he never decline new acquaintances.  
  
"I'm Jun," the man offered.  
  
"Nino," he replied by giving his name.  
  
"Have you been following Ohno-san for a while?" Jun asked again, between fans, it's easier to connect to talk about fandom, than talking about themselves.  
  
"Quite a while," Nino said. He never told anyone he had followed his Oh-chan for a very long time, longer than Oh-chan's contract with the record company, or that he had the self-recorded CD of Oh-chan and a guitar that the singer put to sell when he played in Yoyogi years and years ago. He never told anyone about it, safe from a very selected few. Nino considered that as his and Oh-chan's secret.  
  
"I've been following him since his first single. I just fell in love when I heard his voice in the record store for the first time. I thought, this man will make it big," Jun talked without pause, "He's really amazing, right?"  
  
Nino gave a nod. "He is." He loved Oh-chan for a lot of reasons.  
  
"And the way he dances," Jun continued again, "it's, oh! I wish I could dance like him."  
  
Nino stole a glance at the other fan. Jun dressed up like a fan would, tour t-shirt, jeans, a tour towel around his neck, and the arm band too, he wore them all. The tote bag he carried showed how loyal and how senior he was among the fans, a well-worn tote bag from the first tour, undoubtedly filled with all kinds of goods from the singer. Compared to Jun, Nino was plain. He did wear the current tour t-shirt, but other than that he wore no other tour goods. This year's tote bag is tugged safely in his backpack.  
  
Nino was never interested in goods that were not designed personally by Oh-chan. He knew it were only the t-shirt and the tote bag. The others were adjusted from these two, and not by Oh-chan himself. Oh-chan designed the t-shirt because he would wear them. Tote bag too was something that might be designed personally by the singer, for the design was always simple, but having very intricate patterns. And Oh-chan always used the tote bag, even while he travelled for a few days. Nino knew that. He had seen Ohchan carrying the tote bags instead of branded ones like other musicians. He would not care much of the towel and the armband, let alone the goods designed for his female fans. Nino just knew. Everything about his Oh-chan, he knew.  
  
They arrived at the hotel as Jun was talking about how he never made it to any meet and greets. Nino did not say how he managed to even wait in front of the recording studio when Oh-chan was recording the latest album. Jun did need to not know that. Nobody but him and his Oh-chan should know that.  
  
"Are you going to Nagoya live too?" Jun asked. They were at the elevator, arriving on the fifth floor where Nino stayed.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Are you taking the shinkansen tomorrow?"  
  
Nino arched an eyebrow. A part of him started to feel that Jun's intensity too overwhelming, but he knew he would probably not going to be able to evade the persistence that the man had. "Why? If you have a car, I'll go with you."  
  
"N-no, I just thought that going with other fans would be more fun than going alone."  
  
"We'll see tomorrow." And Nino gave a slight bow and wished Jun a good night.  
  
+++++  
  
"Do we have the presents and letters from fans today?" Satoshi asked as soon as they were seated inside the shinkansen's green car. He was tired, but still very much awake from the rush of live concert. Sho sat on the chair next to him, opening his laptop to start working again.  
  
He took away his sight from the screen and looked at the singer, "I asked Murakami-kun to put them together and bring them, but he's going to Nagoya with the equipments. Why?" For a short moment the manager saw a slight disappointment on his artist's face. Satoshi always looked forward to read letters or messages from fans that he received during lives.  
  
"I just feel like I want to read them. But it's OK. I'll just read them tomorrow." Satoshi leaned back to his chair and closed his eyes. But it did not last long because Aiba came and handed a small paper bag to Satoshi.  
  
"I hand-picked these while you're on stage," he said to Satoshi with bright smile on your face. "This is Aiba Masaki recommended messages," he continued again as Satoshi eagerly extended both of his hands to get the bag like a child lured to cotton candy.  
  
"Thank you, Masaki," Sho beat Satoshi in saying thank you. The singer was not very good with words, but his facial expression already showed his gratefulness.  
  
"Thanks," he said in the end.  
  
"No problem," said Aiba who then turned to his superior, putting a hand on his shoulder, "Don't work too hard, Sho-chan, 'delegate' - that's the word, right? - to me." The two had known each other from back when they were still in their teens, and in private they still call each other on first name basis.  
  
Sho gave a grin and told Aiba to sleep already because he had to supervise the stage in Nagoya since early in the morning. The assistant bid them both goodnight and left for his seat.  
  
As soon as Masaki disappeared, Satoshi took out all of the letters and searched among them.  
  
"You're looking for Nino's fan letter?" Sho asked. It had came to his attention how Satoshi always singled out that fan. He would look for that person's fan letter before starting to open the rest and always all smile when he saw that fan around. Sho called Nino creepy, because somehow he was always around in Tokyo, at the end of the lives, in most of all TV or radio appearance of Ohno Satoshi, even during recording, Sho always noticed how Satoshi looked for the stalker. However, Satoshi seemed happy whenever he saw him, even when it felt awkward and wrong by the manager, and a few years after Sho started being Satoshi's manager, he perceived how the two seemed to know each other personally.  
  
"He's in Osaka live. Nino does not travel," the singer said with all smile. "He hates traveling, you know?"  
  
"You even called him."  
  
Satoshi stopped from sorting the letters. "Is that not allowed?"  
  
Sho resumed looking at his work on the computer screen. "That's not what I meant. Do you actually know him? I've been wondering because you ... Nevermind. I will tolerate him as he does no harm on you."  
  
Satoshi giggled, "Nino would not do any harm. I don't think he could." He sighed and looked at a distance. "We kind of knew each other before Kondo-san scouted me. It's a long story."  
  
Satoshi smiled when he was greeted by familiar handwritings among the letters that Aiba passed to him. "They were in Osaka live," he murmured to himself, "This one is also from Tokyo."  He eagerly opened the first one, written in neat and expensive looking Japanese paper using ink and very careful penmanship. Satoshi could feel that the writer might have rewritten the letter again and again until it was written perfectly. It was a letter full of gratitude, as usual.  
  
"I am taking a leave from the office tomorrow, so I will wait for you at the entrance. I am looking forward to meet you in person." Then there was three kanji at the signature part Matsumoto.... Satoshi stopped and nudged Sho's shoulder. "How do you read this kanji?" he pointed at the third kanji.  
  
Sho looked at the letter and said, "Jun? Could be Sakae. Why? Don't tell me you cannot read that!"  
  
Satoshi tilted his head a little, "I think I met him at the door today. It's a guy, apparently."  
  
The manager laughed. "Oh, it's a guy? The choice of stationeries looks like an adult woman." He pointed out the japanese paper with embossed pine tree at one corner, "It's pinkish."  
  
"This looks more like mauve," Satoshi protested. Then he continued because Sho had no sense of art nor sense of color. "I always thought this Matsumoto was a woman too," Satoshi folded the letter and put it in the envelope. He smiled. "I think I'm happy that he's not a woman," he said, "And he's very good looking."  
  
Sho laughed. "I understand. But please keep that private."  
  
Satoshi gave a hearty laugh and proceeded to a different letter and the next. Apparently, many fans were also following him along the tour, as they wrote about it in their letter. Masaki seemed to know which letters to select. He finally came to the last letter from the selection. Nino. The letter was four pages long, with small letters that was Nino's trademark. For years, Nino had been his personal critic, he would give comments on everything, especially on his music and live performance. This letter practically comments on two day's worth of the lives in Fukuoka the other day.  
  
It's interesting, he did not see Nino in Fukuoka.  
  
"Do we have recording from Fukuoka live?" He asked as soon as he finished reading through the letter.  
  
"Yes. I have that one in my hard disk. The Osaka one is, I think, with Masaki. He was the one taking the copy." Sho paused his typing, "Why? You're not going to review tonight, right? We'll arrive in Nagoya soon and you can review it again. But remember to get some sleep."  
  
Satoshi nodded and he reread Nino's letter again. It gave very harsh comments on every miss that happened on the stage, from the time Satoshi forgot where he had to stand, miss a beat in a song, or sang out of breath in between dances, to Satoshi's boring MC. But at the end of the letter, the fan always pointed the good parts of the live, noting which movements he made in between dances or during talk made the fans went, "kyaaaa!!"  
  
At the very end of the letter it was written, "Oh-chan, congratulations for your 10 year debut anniversary. Congratulations on 14 years of going as professional singer. I'm happy to know that you're still there. Your Nino."  
  
+++++

Satoshi never considered it as a secret, his meeting with Nino. But he was not the type to tell anything if not asked.  
  
It was five years before Kondo-san found him, when he just finished high school and entering Tamabi to study graphic design. It was his first year in the university and seeing some of his friends playing guitar, he learned a little and went to Ueno Station, to the Panda Bridge, on a whim, to sing covers of Southern All Stars. It was quite late and nobody even bothered to stop as he spent about half an hour singing.  
  
Just when he decided that he'd just sing his last song for the day and go back to his house in Mitaka, a high school boy stopped in front of him and listened. He was carrying baseball bat case and huge school bag, with a name of school that Satoshi never heard of, but it was normal because he was not from around there.  
  
Satoshi sang his final song and packed up. He had to work on his assignment that was due in two days.  
  
"You have really nice voice," the boy said. No tip despite the compliment. Satoshi did not expect it anyway. High school students don't have much to share.  
  
"Thanks," Satoshi answered.  
  
"But you suck at playing guitar," the boy said again with a smirk on his face.  
  
Satoshi's eyes thinned as he looked at the boy from behind his guitar case. "I'm learning," he hissed. It was true. He had only touched guitar for a few months now, and could only play songs with simple chords, but he thought it was alright. He did not aim to be a musician anyway, he would be an illustrator or book jacket designer or whatever that would be connected with his current study.  
  
"I can play better than you," the boy laughed, but the laugh was not descending. It was, in fact, playful. "I can play guitar for you and teach you as we go." He extended his hands and Satoshi passed him the guitar.  
  
The boy quietly took it out from the case and tune it. "You're not tuning it properly. It sounds awful," he commented while Satoshi looking at him with awe, since he still could not hear how off his guitar was and he could not tune his guitar without help of that clip-on guitar tuner inside his guitar case.  
  
"There," the boy said finally and he played the intro of the last song that Satoshi sang. The boy's voice was in the higher pitch and it was raw. Unconsciously Satoshi sang together with him. Their duet was rather messy but they started to look at each other to understand their interpretations of the song, and the boy let Satoshi took lead of the vocals while he tried finding harmony to through his guitar and his voice. When they finished, some passers by had actually stopped to watch and they gave a clap.  
  
"Thank you!" the boy said to the crowd of five and returned the guitar to Satoshi.  
  
"You're good," Satoshi said, acknowledging the younger boy's ability.  
  
"I told you," he said.  
  
"Teach me," Satoshi said again, "will you be around here next week?"  
  
The boy shook his head. "I don't go to Ueno."  
  
"Oh," was the only answer that Satoshi could give. Not that he actually needed the boy to teach him, Joshima-senpai, the doctoral student, his professor's teaching assistant offered him to jam together from time to time, and Joshima-senpai was a very decent guitarist and songwriter.  
  
The boy grinned. "Give me your number, I'll message you if I'm around. Don't expect too much, though. I only go to this side of Tokyo once in awhile."  
  
Satoshi's eyes widened. The boy might be from the west side of Tokyo like him, and it would be easier to meet him. But before Satoshi could put his hopes up, the boy continued again, "My school is in Chiba. There's no way I go this way."  
  
Another, "Oh?" from Satoshi. The boy was from the east side. Fat chance, since Satoshi lives in the western side, and his school is in Hachioji.  
  
The boy took out a small notepad and a pen. He scribbled something and handed it to Satoshi. "I do part-time here every second and fourth weekend. Come by if you have time. Ask for Nino if you ever drop by." He grinned, "I'll ask your phone number when I meet you the second time." With that the boy, Nino - Satoshi repeated his name several times because he was bad at remembering names - left for towards the station with a salute.  
  
+++++  
  
Satoshi smiled as he remembered his first meeting with Nino. The address Nino gave was a rental studio where small bands practice about fifteen minutes walk from Shimokitazawa Station. Satoshi went there on the next fourth weekend of the month and met Nino who was on standby as the receptionist. The younger boy manage to coax him to rent a small rehearsal room for an hour after Nino's shift was over. It repeated over time until Nino quit the part time job all of a sudden.  
  
The speaker mentioned that the shinkansen has reached Nagoya and Satoshi saw Sho packing up his laptop. He put all the letters into the paper bag and followed the manager out of the train and into the van with glossy reflective windows that took him to the hotel.  
  
"How did you find my mail selection?" Masaki asked as he took a seat next to the singer at the back seat of the van. He winked - or supposedly winked, because the assistant manager could not wink without having his other eye move.  
  
"Thanks," Satoshi said as he snuggled himself into the chair for more comfort. "I want to watch the Fukuoka live before going to bed. With all the band members, if possible. Can you get some drinks and snacks for that?"  
  
"Sure," Masaki said, "do you want me to message the band members too?"  
  
The singer nods and he closed his eyes to catch a little nap. Masaki took his phone and sent message over to the band members in the other van and took notes of how much drinks and snacks he would have to get in the convenience store later. When his work had finished, he sent a short message to one of his best friend.  
  
[Thank me for looking for your mail and hand it over to your Oh-chan.]  
  
He added a sticker of a shonen manga character showing out a peace-sign and wrote again.  
  
[I demand payment.]  
  
A split second later came replies in form of sticker of a wad of cash followed by a sticker of beer followed by a sticker of a game console.  
  
[Payment after the tour is finished. Extra payment if you tell inside stories.]  
  
Masaki smiled and typed "agreed" and sent it over the messaging application.  
  
He never made it a secret to anyone that his friend was a huge fan of Ohno Satoshi. What he did not say was that he leaked schedules and places to that best friend. Aiba Masaki never had interest in music before he started working under Sho, but he needed a job badly during his last year in the university. It was Nino, his friend since junior league time, that gave him a part time job information details, and Aiba ended in the entertainer management office, finding his senpai's friend, Sakurai, working there full time already.  
  
He never understood why Nino never wanted to meet Ohno in person. Even if Nino appeared after lives at the backdoor, he would always shy away when Ohno came up. Masaki was sure they knew each other in the past. Masaki even saw a caricature of Nino unmistakably drawn by Ohno. Nino said it was a payment for teaching the singer how to play guitar and write song. It matched the story from Ohno's side, despite no names ever mentioned, that the singer learned composing from a friend who worked at this rental studio. Masaki knew Nino worked in one.  
  
Nino wanted to be a musician once, if possible, be a pro baseball player and professional gamer too, but then reality came and he had to take over his grandfather's company, being the only male descendant in the family. Masaki knew that Nino befriend many music-related people during his part time job at the studio. Some people had been known arrangers, sound engineers, producers, people in record companies, a very small few had records out. It was also how Masaki got the job in this management company. One of the artist managers in this company, Miyake, passed the info to Nino.  
  
There are times when Masaki wanted to tell Ohno that he knew that Nino, that he told Nino schedules and what not, that he let Nino be able to stalk the singer at any convenient time. But the remembered how Nino told him not to, that it's going to mess up everything. Surely, Sakurai's view on Aiba would not be good, and Aiba did not want that to happen.  
  
"Ohno-san," Masaki woke the singer as they arrived at the hotel, "We have arrived. Sakurai-san is taking care of check-in. I'm going to get the drinks and snacks now. See you later in your room?"  
  
+++++  
  
Nino could not escape Jun when he checked out from his hotel room. The taller man was already waiting at the hotel lobby, drinking coffee from paper cup with a mark of a convenience store that sells fresh-brewed coffee. Nino would kill for a cup of coffee, but he thought he would just buy the coffee later when he reached the station.  
  
They took subway to Shin Osaka and grab the first shinkansen available. Jun never stopped trying to talk about Ohno Satoshi. He was very passionate, discussing each and every detail of last night’s performance. Nino could not help but replied. It intrigued him how he and Jun had so many similar opinions on how the performance should work.  
  
By the end of the train ride, Nino had Jun's mail registered on his phone and Jun had Nino's. Before they separated at the gate of Nagoya promised to meet again before the Nagoya live for lunch.  
  
+++++  
  
"You like that guy," Yuriko accused as she and Nino entered their hotel room. She jumped into her bed, the one nearer to the window. The soft bed welcomed her. "Aaah, I haven't slept on a proper bed for a very long time!" She rolled on her back.  
  
Nino calmly put his bag on his bed and took out his laptop and started to connect the device to the hotel's free wi-fi.  
  
"He has taste."  
  
Yuriko rose from her bed and dropped herself by Nino's sitting form, making Nino tilted slightly towards her. "And you are going to play game? Now?" She pushed left arm playfully just to bother him playing. "I thought we have lunch date with Jun soon."  
  
"Go away," Nino flicked on Yuriko's fingers. "Let me log-in to this one. The faster I finish, the faster we can go to for lunch."  
  
Yuriko rolled her eyes. "You and your games." She stopped bothering Nino but stayed lying down on his bed. "You think you can get me backstage pass?"  
  
"No," Nino gave the answer with finality without taking his eyes away from his screen. "I can give you backstage pass for Subaru's or Okada Junichi's live if you want."  
  
The girl sighed and rose to fetch her phone and snapped a random picture of Nino. "Not even if I distribute your picture on 2ch saying you're the Nino that Ohno-san called? I saw a thread on you in 2ch."  
  
"Go ahead."  
  
"You're not fun."  
  
Yuriko threw her phone back to her bed and moved closer to Nino. She sat by him, almost touching but not yet there, watching Nino setting missions and defense strategies for his online games. Her hand sneaked around his arm and Nino let her be.  
  
"For someone who says he loves Ohno-san so much, you suck at being face to face with him," she said finally, almost a whisper, "I sometimes wonder why."  
  
Nino just smiled slightly at that. Yuriko knew she would not get an answer, but she could guess. Nino was jealous, because he wanted to be there. On the stage. But Nino was too much of a responsible person, that he decided to run his family's company when his grandfather passed away.  
  
She learned about it during the short time they dated each other.  
  
+++++  
  
They met while waiting to send off Ohno Satoshi at CC Lemon Hall. Yuriko just broke up with a guy who could not stand her cooing over magazine pages on the singer, and she promised herself she'd find a guy who liked Ohno Satoshi as well. Nino was the only guy there who was alone, the others were hand-in-hand with their girlfriends.  
  
She scooted closer towards Nino and initiated the talk. But it took her another live, eight months after, until she got his contact. And it took her a movie date - watching a movie where Ohno Satoshi played - to finally told Nino that she's interested in him. She really did, and Nino said he wouldn't mind trying to date her.  
  
Nino let her be herself, random games like shiritori using flirty words, or not commenting when he saw her pulled out a bottle of death sauce to pour on her spaghetti during their dates - in an Italian restaurant that was quite fancy. He'd laugh when she told stories of customers of her office who did very ridiculous claims. Nino was an ideal boyfriend, except for one thing.  
  
She did not realize it at the beginning, but almost all of their dates coincides with Ohno Satoshi being there. She’d catch glimpses of people shooting for movies or TV shows, and at times photoshoots, and then he learned that it was the singer. At first she thought that she was being lucky, and she would try to get closer to the shooting, while Nino would always stayed a little behind, but after six dates that coincided with Ohno Satoshi shooting for something, she started to realize something was off.  
  
Yuriko remembered asking him on the way home of their eighth date.  
  
It was a day-drive to Kawagoe, and Nino insisted that they went before sunrise. She was not surprised when they walked down sleepy old town, they saw the singer doing photoshoots for a magazine. This time Yuriko did not run closer towards the photoshooting, she stayed by Nino’s side and watched how he snapped a picture of the singer from far away and just walked further from them. She thought his eyes looked lonely.  
  
“You’re stalking Ohno Satoshi,” she said as they drove home.  
  
It was Nino’s lack of denial that made Yuriko feel uneasy.  
  
“So?”  
  
Yuriko noticed that Nino’s grabbed stronger on the steering wheel, but he kept his sight on the slow evening traffic into Tokyo.  
  
She did not answer.  
  
"Is it disgusting?" Nino asked after a stretch of silence.  
  
She was tempted to say no, because she also had that urge to know everything about Ohno Satoshi. But she knew that it was morally wrong. "It is," she said, "a little disgusting."  
  
"I know. It is, right?" He chuckled, "I just can't help it."  
  
There was a long pause of silence between them and Yuriko noticed that Nino intentionally stayed on the right-most lane and passed Ikebukuro exit where they should have gone out the toll road to drop her at her place in  
  
"You missed the exit," she said.  
  
"I did not," Nino said, "We're going to my place. I'll tell you the whole story."  
  
"You're not planning to kill me or something, right?"  
  
Nino laughed, with that lower-pitched laugh of his that hardly sounded genuine. "I'll leave that to your imagination."  
  
Yuriko found Nino's apartment very simple for a single man who owns a company. It was a 1LDK unit on fourth floor of a concrete building without elevator. The living room was more or less bare, save from a sofa bed, a coffee table and a big TV attached to three different consoles.  
  
"Have a seat," Nino said as he went to the kitchen and came back with two cans of beer. "You'll feel safer if I serve canned drink than tea or coffee, right?"  
  
Yuriko nodded as she took one can from Nino's hands. "You don't have any Ohno Satoshi goods in your living room," was what she said after she said her thanks.  
  
"In the other room," he gestured towards the supposed to be bedroom, "Feel free to check."  
  
She was imagining a room full of photos of Ohno Satoshi on the wall, those that Nino snapped whenever he was out stalking the singer. She was expecting a room with an altar with concert goods and CDs and DVDs like the special shelf she had for all Ohno Satoshi-related things that she had at home. But what she found there was a room with two guitars, one electric and another acoustic, a keyboard attached to a desktop, and an electric bass. There was a desk with scraps of notes and chords and lines of words that could have been lyrics, and there was a shelf with CDs and DVDs, but it was not only Ohno Satoshi's. She saw those names, Subaru, Kokubun Taichi, and many more. Nino looked more like a music fan in this room rather than a fan of Ohno Satoshi.  
  
Then she saw it. An A3 size caricature of the singer and Nino, signed with a birthday message.  
  
"You know him," she said.  
  
"I knew him," he corrected as he leaned at the door sill, watching Yuriko going around his music room, looking for more Ohno Satoshi traces.  
  
"You don't have the goods?" Yuriko asked.  
  
"In the closet. I don't use them."  
  
"And the story?" Yuriko asked again, walking towards Nino and stood there face to face at the door.  
  
"Sit down?" He nicked his head towards his sofa bed. Yuriko realized that it was where he sleep.  
  
She obliged, placing her half-drunk beer on the coffee table. Nino sat at the other corner of the sofa bed, taking the remote control of his stereo and played whatever CD was in. It happened to be Ohno Satoshi's second album.  
  
Nino told her about how they met, how he taught the singer how to play guitar properly, how he learned to dance from the singer in return, how they wrote songs together and even recorded a self-made single. He told how he and Ohno went apart.  
  
"We had fifteen employees, twenty three with the part-time workers. I could not just leave them," Nino said. He pulled his legs up and wrapped them in his arms, his chin on his knees. "My grandfather left the factory to me. It was the only right thing to do."  
  
At this point, Yuriko extended her hand and pat his head, but Nino winced, so she pulled back her arms and reached instead for her already tepid beer. She pieced Nino's story with all her knowledge on Ohno Satoshi and all the story fit. A friend in a rental studio who taught him guitar and songwriting. A friend he used to play together with him in Panda Bridge or Yoyogi or Shinjuku. A friend who would ride train all the way from Katsushika to meet him in Kouenji because he had a deadline for art submission but wanted to practice guitar.  
  
Nino went silent.  
  
Yuriko watched for a while and moved closer. "But you could not let him go," she said softly.  
  
Nino nodded.  
  
"We had a fight."  
  
+++++  
  
He remembered it clearly. It was about two or three months after they cremated his grandfather. The altar still smelled new and his mother still insisted on wearing black whenever she went out.  
  
Nino was just back from his university, thinking of working on whatever paperwork needed for the factory. He had class that day and test season is coming, but he had to worry about the factory. There were debts to pay and deadlines to catch. He had to think how he could convince the factory's clients and partners that despite his age and lack of experience, he was capable of taking care of the company.  
  
It was when Nino found him at the dining table.  
  
"Oh-chan...." his voice faltered.  
  
He never told Satoshi his address, but there he was, sipping tea and munching suama that Nino's mother prepared. He was wearing old t-shirt that has paint smudges and old jeans, like how Nino always found him.  
  
"You never came to the studio anymore," Satoshi said, "So I asked around. Matsu-nii told me what happened." He paused, eyes directed a while at the new altar in the neighboring room. "I thought I'd pay a visit."  
  
Nino dropped his belongings on the floor and helped himself with a cup of tea. His mother appeared from the kitchen, asking if he had already eaten, and he said he was not hungry, but he would eat later.  
  
"You never picked up your phone," Satoshi said again, "I was worried."  
  
"I'm sorry," Nino only muttered.  
  
Satoshi sighed. "You were busy."  
  
Nino nodded.  
  
"I'm sorry that your grandfather passed away," Satoshi said again, "it must have been hard on you."  
  
Nino put his cup of tea a little to hard. "Don't say things you have no idea of," he said heavily. "Sorry," he muttered soon after.  
  
If Nino looked back again, he thought he could have acted nicer to Satoshi. He knew his friend was really bad with words. Satoshi expressed his thoughts through drawings and movements and singing.  
  
"I'm sorry," Satoshi said again, "But you could have told me."  
  
"You're not in the top-list priority to be told about it," Nino wanted to say, but he kept his lips tight. The truth was he totally forced himself to forget about all the things he used to do before his grandfather suddenly fell from heat stroke inside the factory and he had to start taking over as his grandfather's condition getting worse.  
  
Satoshi sighed. Then he dropped the bomb.  
  
"We got scouted," he said. "I thought I should tell you." He took his wallet from his back pocket and extended a business card to Nino.  
  
Masahiko Kondo  
Kitagawa and Kondo Entertainment  
Chief Executive  
  
That time Nino didn't know if he wanted to scream, cry, or laugh, so he did none, keeping his face controlled and his posture calm. If his grandfather had still been alive, he knew he would have jumped up and hugged Satoshi then and there, maybe screamed loudly yells of victory. But reality spoke differently.  
  
"You know I can't," he managed to say something in the end.  
  
Satoshi took the name card back and put it in the safety of his wallet. "I heard from your mother just now," he paused, "but I want to do this with you."  
  
"I can't just leave." Nino tried to sound determined. He knew he decided on it already, even if he was not sure of his own capability. The idea of leaving all of this weight to pursue his dream, his own dreams instead of others, was enticing. But he remembered Tanaka-san had just gotten a baby, Kikuchi-kun is paying his brother's tuition, Moriwaki-san's daughter will enter college soon, and each of the factory's company employees with all the family members when they visited for the wake. He could not leave.  
  
"What about our dream?"  
  
"It just won't happen, Oh-chan. It just won't." Nino tried to hold his eyes steadied on Satoshi. "I'm sorry, but could you leave now? I have works to do."  
  
"Nino, I...."  
  
"We'll talk again. Later."  
  
"But I need to answer Kondo-san soon. I need your answer now. Would you be-"  
  
"You know the answer already, Oh-chan. It won't happen for me." Nino glared at his friend. His voice rose a few pitches than what he meant to say. He was tired. He just wanted to look through work progress and do a random quality check so he could ask Minami-san, one of his grandfather's right hand, if his judgement on quality had improved. Then he had term paper for his class that would due in two days, the same day he would have to meet a long-time client and probably would have to accompany them drinking even if he could not hold alcohol so well.  
  
"You're going to leave me in this when you were the one who imposed this idea of becoming a musician to me?" Satoshi's voice was raised. He had always been the hot-tempered one, Nino the calm one.  
  
"Look, I am facing my reality here. I don't have time for dreams. Could you leave? Please? I don't have time for this."  
  
"Nino," Satoshi said, slowly this time, "I cannot write song..."  
  
Nino slammed the table and Satoshi went quiet.  
  
"Take all the songs I've ever written for you. You can claim it as your own. Now go away. Don't remind me of this at all!"  
  
"Fine," Satoshi quietly stood up, "I won't come back."  
  
He walked into the kitchen and excused himself to Nino's mother for intruding and he left the house.  
  
Nino remembered his mother came to the dining table and sat with him in silence until very late. She said nothing, but Nino understood that it was her way to say sorry.  
  
Before she went to bed, she held Nino's hand in hers for a short moment and said, "Kazunari, I cannot thank you enough."  
  
It made him felt he took the right choice, but Nino did not manage to do what he had planned that night.  
  
+++++  
  
Ohno came back almost a year after, as Nino started to feel comfortable juggling between learning to run the company and his studies. Ohno came back on in the form of a song from radio that one of the workers turned on as they were having lunch together during the factory break. Nino knew the voice by heart as he heard the singer started singing. He did not know the song.  
  
Nino found his way to record store in the weekend after and got the debut single. The cover was unmistakably Satoshi's own painting. It was a self portrait in cubism, a gradation from bright color to grayscale. Nino found a dedication in the CD cover. It said, "To everyone who looks face to face at reality, I am sending my thought to you."  
  
The next morning, Nino applied for fanclub membership.  
  
+++++  
  
Jun asked Yuriko when Nino left for the washroom.  
  
"Nino and Ohno-san knows each other, right?"  
  
Yuriko grinned, and her eyes looked a little mischievous. It was something that Jun realized similar between Nino and Yuriko. They both had this impish, weird smile at times.  
  
"People are talking about him in 2ch." Yuriko did not answer the question.  
  
"Of course, Ohno-san called for his name the other day," Jun said.  
  
Yuriko scoffed, "Is that why you introduced yourself to him? Because you noticed that he was the Nino that Ohno-san called?"  
  
"If so?"  
  
Yuriko leaned forward and played with condensation on her glass of water. "I'm sad to tell you that you would not be able to use him to get closer to Ohno-san."  
  
"Oh, and you never tried asking?" Jun asked, voice flat, but there was a hint of accusation there. "Yuppe? Right? That's your handle in 2ch."  
  
Yuriko laughed. "He knows who I am in 2ch." She squinted her eyes, "Jun, MJ, owner of the oldest blog on Ohno Satoshi?"  
  
Jun was taken aback. "How could you know?"  
  
"Oh, come on, Jun, everybody who likes Ohno Satoshi reads your blog. It's like bible for us."  
  
Jun's smiled smugly at that. He was proud of his devotion to Ohno Satoshi.  
  
"Everyone, except for Nino," Yuriko said again.  
  
"You don’t really need to read my blog if you know him." Jun took a sip of his cold beer.  
  
"He said he knew him. But you have to ask him yourself."  
  
"Fine."  
  
Yuriko poked on a drop of water that melted to the table. "You can use Nino all you want, Jun," she said, "but don't hurt him."  
  
Jun put down his glass. "You sound like you are using him yourself."  
  
Yuriko smiled. This time it was a genuine smile that caught Jun's breath. She said, "I used him, but it has nothing to do with Ohno Satoshi."  
  
Jun was about to ask further, but Nino was already back. He smelled faintly of cigarette, and Jun realized that it was the reason why it took Nino so long just to go to the washroom.  
  
+++++  
  
Jun noticed that Nino put quite a thick envelope into the gift box. Jun put a small gift of local goods that he found. Yuriko put in a bottle of homemade jam to which Jun raised his eyebrows.  
  
"Ohno-san likes bread," Yuriko said in a sing-song way.  
  
Nino just sighed and asked if Yuriko had made sure the lid was already tight, so the jam would not seep out and make other gifts and letters dirty.  
  
"I did! Don't worry."  
  
And while the two were bickering, Jun saw him, the staff who helped him taking his picture the other day.  
  
"Otsukaresama desu," Jun said to him, "thank you for the other day."  
  
The man with all-access pass smiled at him and said, "thank you for coming," even though he looked puzzled.  
  
"You helped taking my picture with Ohno-san in Osaka," Jun clarified.  
  
On that the man's face brightened up and his smile went even wider that his eyes crinkled. "Right! Yes! I remember you," he said. His voice was a little husky and there was breathy laugh when he spoke, and Jun found that it was overflowing with happiness.  
  
"Jun-kun, I thought you want to get the Nagoya-only goods," Yuriko's voice was heard from behind.  
  
"Oh! Nin--" the staff opened his mouth, but Nino was fast enough to hit his arm.  
  
"Sorry," the staff said again, then he said in a whisper, which was a little unnecessary because the people around them were loud and everybody was minding their own business. "I didn't know you're Ni-, his friend."  
  
"No," Nino said, "we're not friends. We just met in Osaka and we just happened to decide to wait for the gate open together."  
  
"Excuse me?" Jun protested, "I paid your lunch and we're not yet friends?"  
  
There came again the impish grin.  
  
"My friendship is not cheap."  
  
The staff laughed and pat Jun on the back, "I feel for you. I know how hard it is to be his friend." He kept his smile when he introduced himself to Jun. "I'm Aiba Masaki, and I've been cursed to know him since elementary school."  
  
"Matsumoto Jun," Jun introduced by his full name. He could not help it since Aiba was giving his first. Among fans, it was more common to say handle names or just nicknames on first meeting.  
  
Jun noticed that Yuriko did not introduce herself.  
  
"Oh! The mauve guy!" Aiba said with glee. "I always thought it's purple, but Ohno-san insisted it was mauve."  
  
"Aiba-san," another staff called.  
  
"Oh, well, gotta run now. Enjoy the show!" He waved to them and made a slight gesture that he'd call towards Nino. It was very slight, but Jun liked to pay attention to details and he noticed it.  
  
"You know the staff?" Jun could not hide the excitement from his voice.  
  
"I do." Nino's answer was plain and lacked the bragging tone that would usually accompany a fan who knew someone from the backstage.  
  
"You could meet Ohno-san if you want to! Don't you know how lucky you are?" Jun said again.  
  
"I don't want to," Nino said, sounding lack of interest. "People like him is better be seen from far away." He then pointed towards the goods tent. "I have no interest with colored badges. I'll wait for you in the smoking area." He pointed at a cluster enclosed by green walls of plants and he left.  
  
"I told you, he would not be of help if you want to meet Ohno-san," Yuriko said as the two lined up for goods. "It's better to put your bet when you wait for him outside the gate later tonight."  
  
"Maybe you're right. I'll wait at the gate tonight."  
  
Jun wanted to know, if someone who wrote such long letter really did not want to meet Ohno. He wondered what kind of obsession that Nino had over the singer.  
  
+++++  
  
They waited.  
  
It was less of a torture to wait if you're with other people.  
  
The singer came out earlier than when he had been in Osaka. He lingered longer and Jun and Yuriko managed to get themselves making a wefie of the three of them.  
  
"Yuppe!" Ohno smiled happily when he saw Yuriko. "Thank you for coming to this show as well. Did you enjoy it?"  
  
Jun knew Yuppe was one of the veteran fan who always came to each and any event with Ohno Satoshi. It was not a surprise to see the singer noticing her.  
  
"It was marvelous! But my seat was not that good today. But I will get fifth row in Tokyo."  
  
"I'll see you there, then!"  
  
And Jun was face to face with the singer.  
  
"The mauve guy!" He said, "I'm sorry. I just realized yesterday that it was you. Thank you for all your letters. I really enjoy reading them."  
  
"It's Jun," he said.  
  
"Jun, right. I'm sorry. I'm bad with names."  
  
Jun did not mind. He really did not mind. He was happy to know that his favorite singer noticed his letter, always in the same shade of purple, always have that MJ emboss on the paper.  
  
And Jun noticed that ever since Ohno went out from the backstage, Nino went away, and he noticed as well that Ohno's eyes were searching for something. Someone.  
  
+++++  
  
Nino did not come for the live in Tokyo. He only appeared to give his ticket, fifth row, arena, right by the catwalk stage that went to the center of Tokyo Dome.  
  
"Are you sure?" Jun asked, still found it unbelievable that he could exchange his ticket somewhere on the stand with this ticket.  
  
"I have emergency in the factory," Nino said. He passed an envelope to Jun, "Could you drop this in the gift box for me?"  
  
The envelope felt thick and Jun wondered how could someone write this long every time.  
  
"Are you sure you want to entrust this with me?" Jun asked.  
  
"You're the only one I have now. Yuriko can only come right before the show starts and I can't wait that long," Nino said, "I take that after getting my ticket, you will definitely put my letter in the gift box."  
  
Jun laughed, a genuine one. "I'll treat you something as my gratitude," he said.  
  
Nino smiled before he left. But then he turned around to Jun and said, "you look nicer in suits than dressed up as Ohno Satoshi wota."  
  
Jun found himself blushing, although he could not determine whether it was because Nino praised his look or because he made fun of it.  
  
+++++  
  
Jun waited for Satoshi again after the live even though he still had to go back to work to catch up whatever had happened during his leave to watch Satoshi in Osaka and Nagoya. He noticed those eyes were still searching, and he pushed himself closer to the singer.  
  
"If you're looking for him, he's not here," he said when he's within the singer's reach.  
  
Satoshi looked like he was caught off guard, but it only took him a split second for his face to look normal and the eyes were no longer searching. Not long after that, one of the staff called Satoshi back, and Jun noticed that they were talking while looking at his general direction for a while before Satoshi said his thanks again and went into the van that was waiting for him.  
  
The fans dispersed, and Jun went towards Suidobashi Station to catch a taxi, but someone caught on him.  
  
"Jun-san, right?" The man had very thick Kansai dialect when he talked.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Someone would like to meet you," he said, gesturing back to the dome. He motioned a sticker on his t-shirt which said "all access pass" to ensure Jun that he did not mean bad.  
  
Jun followed and a man with dark grey suits was waiting.  
  
"Thank you, Maruyama-kun," the man in suits said and then he introduced himself to Jun. "I am Sakurai Sho, Ohno Satoshi's manager. If you have time, would you come with me? Ohno-san wishes to meet you."  
  
Jun's first reaction was "Huh?" But then he agreed to enter the manager's car. He had work, but he could forgo sleep if he could meet Ohno Satoshi in private.  
  
The manager looked at him with judging eyes.  
  
"I have no idea what Ohno-san wants from you," he said as the car went out the parking area of the dome, "but if you ever made anything public or do any harm to his reputation, I will not hesitate to sue you and suck you dry of your assets, got it? I can find you from the fanclub database, so don't try anything foolish."  
  
Jun could feel that Sakurai meant it.  
  
"I promise I won't."  
  
"You'll sign a written statement for that later. And I am watching your blog posts all the time and 2ch and twitter."  
  
They parked arrived somewhere in Sangenjaya. Before getting off the car, Sakurai produced two pieces of paper and asked Jun to fill up his name and put his stamp on it. He gave Jun one and he kept the other copy. It was a statement that Jun would not reveal whatever he would see and talk about with Ohno Satoshi without consent of the management office. The manager then took Jun to a restaurant. The whole restaurant was booked and Jun realized that he was in the after party for the whole crew.  
  
Jun saw Aiba on the way, but he did not say hi. It seemed that the staff already forgot about him.    
  
Sakurai took him to a small private room a little separated from the main dining hall and told him to wait. The three minutes he spent alone there felt like a long time. When the door slid open and the singer went in alone, Jun almost jumped up his seat, but he did manage to stand without jumping despite that his chair made noise as it was pushed back.  
  
"Relax now, I won't bite," Satoshi chuckled slightly. He sat down and gestured Jun to sit as well.  
  
"I don't know what to say," Jun mumbled, "I mean, I've been a fan since your first single, but I never thought I would be able to meet you like this. I ... It's...."  
  
The door opened, making Jun stopped silent, as the manager came in with with two mugs of beer and a basket of fried potatoes. "Beer should be fine, right?" He asked Jun.  
  
"I have to go back to office after this," Jun said honestly.  
  
The manager glared at Satoshi and sighed. "I'm sorry," he said to Jun, "tea, orange juice, ginger ale, or cola?" Then he said, "Or maybe a cup of coffee?"  
  
"Coffee would be nice. Thank you."  
  
Then the manager disappeared again.  
  
"You know Nino," Satoshi said as soon as the door was closed.  
  
Jun nodded. "Sort of," he said, "not so well, though."  
  
"And he did not come."  
  
"He gave me his ticket." Jun took out the ticket from his pocket. All fan club ticket had a name written. But it was then that Jun realized, the ticket was under Yoshitaka Yuriko instead. So he did not show it to Satoshi, he said instead, "Oh, this is not under his name," Jun's words was a bit surprised. A bit, because he heard from Yuriko that she and Nino would order two tickets each and used the ones with better seats.  
  
Suddenly a rap on the door was heard and Sakurai appeared with a cup of coffee. He put it in front of Jun.  
  
"Mind if I sit here too?" he asked, more to Satoshi than to Jun.  
  
Satoshi nodded, but after Sakurai took his seat, he said nothing for sometime, opting to take small gulps from his mug of beer from time to time.  
  
"How was the live? I heard from Ohno-san that you came to Osaka and Nagoya too," Sho was the one to break the silence.  
  
Jun's eyes lit up. "It was so great!" he said, "the Nagoya one is better because you changed the song order, so the flow sounds better. Oh, and the intro of Take Me Far away was also altered, so it became more fluid for the dance. I mean Ohno-san has this habit of adding half a..."  
  
Jun's words were cut off because suddenly Satoshi laughed. The laugh sounded different from what Jun had ever heard on TV shows, it was high-pitch and mirthful and free. Jun thought he'd be happy to record that laugh and keep it as a memento for this day when he talk to Ohno Satoshi personally.  
  
"You are so similar," Satoshi said in between his laugh.  
  
Sakurai looked sideways at his talent.  
  
"How is Nino?"  
  
Jun felt a tinge of jealousy but he knew he would lose to someone who seemed to know the singer for a very long time.  
  
"Why don't you ask him?" it was a defensive answer, but also honest at the same time. Jun had no idea how Nino was. Probably disappointed for not being able to watch the live, probably not even think about it because he was absorbed in work. Jun had only known him for less than a week.  
  
Satoshi pushed the fried potato basket to Jun, "have some. You might be hungry."  
  
And Jun found himself starting to nibble on pieces of potato.  
  
Jun said in the end, "I only knew Nino for a few days. We met in Osaka."  
  
Sakurai hummed. "Is that after or before Ohno-san call? You should have noticed the thread on 2ch, right?"  
  
"Does it matter?" Satoshi said, still looking happy.  
  
"Of course it does," Sakurai said, "He knew 'your Nino' knows you personally and he approached him."  
  
Jun did not like the way "your Nino" sounded in his ears. But Jun did not deny Sakurai's accusation. It was true. He approached Nino because Satoshi called him. Jun also decided he did not quite like the way Sakurai look at him when he said it.  
  
"It doesn't matter," Satoshi said, still looking amused. "I just want to thank you for telling me he was not there."  
  
There was something Jun cannot really place there. They should have known each others' contacts if they knew each other already, and how Nino would always shy away whenever Satoshi came out from the backstage. Jun had only seen it twice, but he guessed the pattern had happened before the after-live that Jun never came to.  
  
"Why don't you just give him a call if you know him?" Jun asked.  
  
"I knew him," Satoshi said, "It's a long story, but I don't have his contact. Sho-chan here is too rigid to let me check on the fanclub database."  
  
"It would be a breach of privacy policy, Satoshi-san." But he wouldn't mind doing that to anyone who'd endanger the singer' popularity.  
  
Jun noticed the shift from mentioning the singer as Ohno-san when he talked to Jun, and the way he called the singer by first name basis.  
  
There was a knock on the door and the guy who picked Jun up appeared. "Sakurai-san, Ohno-san, Kondo-san and Kitagawa-san are here."  
  
"We'll be there soon," Sakurai said, "Is Aiba-kun still around?"  
  
"He left to go back to Tokyo Dome already. Do you want me to call him?"  
  
"It's okay," Sakurai said, "Could you get us a cab? Ohno-san's guest is leaving."  
  
The man with Kansai accent left the room.  
  
"Thank you for having me here," Jun said after. He bowed.  
  
"Can we exchange e-mail?" was Satoshi's answer. He pulled out his phone and waited for Jun's answer.  
  
Sakurai looked disapproving, but he did not stop them exchanging e-mails. "I'll send you off," he said to Jun and told Satoshi to hurry and greet the higher ups from the company.  
  
"Thank you for coming," Satoshi said in quiet genuine gratitude to Jun that he felt he could just forget the fact that he was called there because he was inquired about another fan.  
  
Jun followed the manager out of the establishment. They waited in front of the door. The weather was cool at the end of summer.  
  
"Please use the e-mail he just gave wisely," Sakurai reminded him. "We will go the distance to protect him."  
  
Jun nodded.  
  
There was an awkward silence between the two until Jun asked the manager. "About this Nino," he said, "What had happened between them?"  
  
The manager's face was impassive. "Please ask that to Ohno-san. My only interest is only to protect the company's asset. That includes making sure no trouble is involved with our marketing plan." He grinned, "You are a fan of his, but I guess you are aware of what is behind the scene, Jun-san. You don't seem to be one like some others."  
  
Jun nodded again.  
  
A taxi came over and the staff with Kansai accent came out. He gave a slight nod to both of them and entered the restaurant, leaving Sakurai holding the door to Jun. As Jun entered, he took out an envelope and handed it to Jun. "This is for taxi fare. I have no idea where you are going, so.... Keep the change and use it if next time Ohno-san invites you for something."  
  
With that, he closed the taxi door as he bid Jun good night.  
  
Jun found ¥20,000 inside the envelope, and wondered if Sakurai just being overprotective with Ohno Satoshi.  
  
+++++  
  
[Dinner sometime this weekend? I haven't thanked you for the ticket.]  
  
A mail from Jun arrived about a week after the Tokyo Dome live. Nino was lying on his sofa bed while playing a game on his phone when the mail came in.  
  
[Where and when? He replied.]  
  
The answer came so fast that Nino did not even have time to return to his game.  
  
[Next Saturday, 7pm. Can you make it?]  
  
Nino checked on his schedule on his phone.  
  
[Yes. Where?]  
  
It took also only a couple of seconds until Jun replied with a pin on Google Map. A restaurant in Azabu Juban. Nino definitely would not go to such restaurants if he were to pay himself. He had other priorities.  
  
Nino was about to start his game again when his phone rang. It was Aiba.  
  
"Open up!" was what Aiba said as soon as Nino picked up the phone, "I know you're in there!"  
  
Nino hung up and rose from his sofa. He moved his head a little to ease his stiff neck and moved to open the door.  
  
"I'm home!!" Aiba pushed past him as the door opened. He had a plastic bag full of take-out from his parents' restaurant.  
  
"Stupid! This is not your home!" Nino slapped his best friend on the head. It was not hard, but Aiba complained that it hurt as he started laughing.  
  
"Your doorbell is not working," Aiba complained. He made himself comfortable at the coffee table, sitting on the floor with his back resting on the sofa bed. "I have mabo tofu, kara age, and chahan. Have you had dinner?"  
  
Nino slumped himself next to his friend. "Ate already. My mother would not let me leave without dinner."  
  
Aiba laughed again, "how is your mom doing?"  
  
"My father is here for a few days, she won't be lonely. I hope he retires soon so he can live with her."  
  
Nino took a piece of karaage and ate it. It was not hot anymore, but warm enough for his taste.  
  
"I thought I'm the one who's supposed to pay your dinner," Nino said.  
  
Aiba put down his chopsticks and swallowed. "I saw your friend at the after-party," he said after he cleared his throat, "The guy with thick eyebrow. Who was that again? The one I met in Nagoya with you and your ex."  
  
"Jun?"  
  
"Yeah, him. Sakurai picked him up and they were talking in the private room. I couldn't stay around because I had to go back to Dome to supervise the disassembling of the stage, so I have no idea what they were talking about."  
  
"Yuriko said that Jun is a respected among the fans. He's a very long-time fan."  
  
"Really?" Aiba looked surprised, "How come I had never seen him before?"  
  
"He never came to fanmeet or events," Nino put down his half-eaten karaage on the platter. "Beer?" He asked as he rose and walked to his fridge.  
  
"I'm driving," Aiba said, "do you have non-alcohol?"  
  
Nino gave a can of non-alcohol beer to Aiba and open draft beer for himself.  
  
"Jun owns a blog on Oh-chan. He's really meticulous on that."  
  
"Oh!" Aiba nodded his head several times, "maybe that's why Sho-chan called him." He sighed, "I totally have no idea. Ohno-san is not the type to meet fans personally."  
  
Nino just leaned towards Aiba.  
  
"I'm starting to give up," Nino sighed.  
  
"On Ohno-san?" Aiba looked surprised.  
  
"On praying he'd fall of the ladder and quit being a entertainer."  
  
Aiba smirked, "for someone who always send constructive criticism, you surely want him fail."  
  
Nino picked up the half-eaten piece of karaage and continued eating that. "Because Oh-chan is always in his reverie. He's stupid in things outside his expertise." Nino laughed a little, "and I would hate him if he lost his popularity. I want to claim his popularity as mine too."  
  
"You're too complicated, Nino," Aiba nudged his friend with his elbow while he kept on eating his dinner. "If Ohno-san loses his popularity, I probably will have to find a new job."  
  
"Find a new talent. I don't think your bosses are that evil." Nino picked up one of the wet tissues from Aiba's plastic bag and wiped his oily fingers.  
  
"How is Sakurai-san?" he asked.  
  
"Hmmm... hard working, as usual."  
  
"And aren't you, as his assistant, should be helping him now?"  
  
Aiba sighed, "He's with Ohno-san, having this discussion on the next single. Sho-chan said he doesn't need me."  
  
"And that's why you are here?"  
  
"Where else can I go to?"  
  
"You're hopeless."  
  
And Nino snuggled closer towards Aiba.  
  
+++++  
  
[Do you like fishing?]  
  
An email came to Jun's phone on Friday night. He almost jumped when he saw the sender's name.  
  
[Yes.]  
  
He replied, even if he was not sure if it was true. He had never gone fishing before. He was not really lying. If it was with his favorite singer, he would be able to have fun. He sent another mail.  
  
[But I don't have fishing gear.]  
  
Another email came, saying that Jun could borrow Satoshi's fishing pole and lures. And there was an address to meet in Tokyo Yume Marina.  
[See you in a couple of hours!] It also said.  
  
"Huh?!"  
  
[What time?]  
  
[4am?]  
  
Jun replied his agreement and called to order taxi to get him from his house to the marina. "Is this guy for real?" He grumbled a little, but then his lips widened with smile. "Yes!!" He jumped from his desk with a winning pose.  
  
"Anything good?" Shun, Jun's officemate asked. The two of them are the only ones left in the company, finishing for some documents to send to New York. Working in international trading company made overtime like this inevitable.  
  
"Will be going for fishing in a couple of hours!" Jun was so excited.  
  
Shun raised his eyebrows. "I never thought you're the type to like fishing."  
  
"No, Shun," Jun clasped on his friend's shoulder, "it's who invites that counts." He lowered his voice, "keep this a secret... I'm going fishing with Ohno Satoshi!"  
  
Shun broke into laughter, "Come on!! You must be kidding."  
  
"I'm not," Jun nicked his head while showing off his phone for a split second, not letting Shun to catch the content written on the phone. He smiled. "I have to finish this before midnight."  
  
He returned to his desk and continued working. And Shun realized that his best friend did not lie. "You son of a bitch! Since when did you get to know him?"  
  
Jun only grinned, "that should be a secret." He pushed Shun back to his seat, "let's finish this document so I can go with Ohno-san."  
  
+++++  
  
The taxi dropped him near dock number eight. The sky was dark, but the sea was calm. Jun was glad he managed to go back to his apartment to change from his suits into something more comfortable and took his waterproof jacket and sunglasses.  
  
"Jun-kun!"  
  
Jun found the singer waiting next to a boat and he ran closer. "Sorry to keep you waiting," Jun said as he bowed a little. His smile still had not left his face even though he only could catch about an hour of nap.  
  
The singer was wearing old and battered waterproof jacket, one that came from branded fishing gear apparel, despite of that. He wore old, torn jeans and sandals, though. There was a cap on his head, one that had interesting fabric scribbles, might be self-made.  
  
"You don't really like fishing, right?" Ohno chuckled, pointing at Jun.  
  
The fan grinned sheepishly. "I like fishing with you," he answered, but then he added after a split second, "uh, actually, I've never gone fishing before."  
  
"Figured." But the singer did not hesitate. He gestured at Jun to follow him to one of the boats where an elderly man was waiting. He introduced Jun to the man who was the captain of the boat, and as the sky in the eastern horizon turned a tad brighter, the boat left the marina into Tokyo Bay.  
  
Ohno explained how to use fishing rod, how to spin the reel, and which hook and bait to use for which fish. His aim was yellow fin tuna, but he said he wouldn't mind for sea bass. Jun watched in amusement. From all his life, he often saw Ohno Satoshi on TV or during concert, but he never saw him this talkative. He seemed like he could go on and on about fishing. It felt funny that Jun did not find it boring, but he had to admit only a very small percentage of Ohno’s lecture on fishing in Tokyo Bay entered his head. Most of the time, he was enticed by the tone of Satoshi's voice and the facial expression that looked like a happy child.  
  
They arrived at their first fishing point. Inoue-san explained where the fish might be and they started to set their rods. Ohno set up two rods for himself before helping Jun to tie the hook, bobber and weight on the line, while Jun watched and nodded every now and then to show that he listened.  
  
"Do you invite your fans in random?" Jun asked as they settled their fishing rods and waited for something to take the bait. He had the question ever since he was called to the after-live party, but he never dared to ask by mail. Being in a boat with nowhere to go gave him courage, because Ohno would not be able to duck away.  
  
"You know Nino," was Ohno's answer, and he said it as if that was enough of an explanation.  
  
"I only met him a few times," Jun said, being a too honest person that he was. He would not lie to the man he adored.  
  
Ohno hummed. He reeled his rod and casted it again. "I know a lot of people around me knows Nino, but nobody said a word of him." He paused for a moment, eyes looking at a distance, before he continued. "How is he?"  
  
"I have no idea," Jun said honestly, "but I'm meeting him this evening. Do you want to join us?" He asked politely.  
  
"Nah, he would leave when he saw me."  
  
And Jun exhaled in relief. He just realized he did not want to share this, the private moments with Ohno Satoshi, with anyone, especially not with someone from Ohno's past.  
  
There was another stretch of silence. It felt a little awkward for Jun, but it was comfortable. Something about Ohno gave off calm vibe that never failed of making Jun forgot all his particularities and perfectionism. He felt he could be there sitting with Ohno without worries. It was what he felt when he first heard Ohno's singing voice in the radio, and it was confirmed here, on the boat, after a hectic night at the office, on a lazy Saturday morning. Usually Jun would worry if the partners at the other sides of the world were happy with the proposals he prepared, or if the files for the team's weekly meeting had the latest informations, but now he sat there, waiting for fish to bite his bait, absorbing the calm that radiated from the man beside him.  
  
"You're not asking me why I'm very interested in him?" Ohno said suddenly, "I thought you would be curious."  
  
I don't want to know, Jun thought, wait, I want to know, but just not yet. It was scary. He could guess how close the two had been, sometime ago in the unknown past of the famous singer, Ohno Satoshi, but he could feel that tinge of jealousy.  
  
"I think I have to respect your privacy," Jun answered diplomatically.  
  
Ohno laughed. It sounded crisp in the humid summer morning. "I have no privacy anymore. Sho reads my phone when he thinks I'm not looking. Scandal prevention, Aiba said. I have paparazzi waiting somewhere around the corner almost all the time. Even if they're not there, fans might recognize me and reported whatever I'm doing online."  
  
Jun felt his cheek turned hot. He always checked those channels, those summary pages of Ohno Satoshi news, gossips, and sightings. He felt like a hypocrite, saying of privacy when he actually stalked the singer online whenever he had the chance.  
  
Ohno laughed again. "I don't want to make you feel awkward when I said that." He clasped a hand on Jun's shoulder. "Relax."  
  
Jun just nodded. He became even more tensed with the touch.  
  
"Nino... he taught me how to play guitar, you know?" Ohno spilled the story anyway.  
  
"The friend?"  
  
All the fans knew that story, the singer said it quite many times. Jun had the preserved in his blog, quoting each magazine interviews from his clippings.  
  
"That's Nino. If he did not find me then, I might be working my ass off as an illustrator. Or might not be making anything at all," Ohno chuckled, "I was never motivated to do anything anyway."  
  
"But you are very talented."  
  
Ohno sighed, "He often said that too. Like, if by 25 nobody produced me, he would take a loan to do so. He was just a high school brat when he said that, though. And I got scouted before I reached 25."  
  
"Your first single was released when you were 24," Jun said, "June 17, right? I remember all your release dates."  
  
There was that crisp laughter again. "I don't even remember them myself."  
  
Ohno seemed like he was about to say something, but a movement on his rod made him jerk to handle the caught fish and the words forgotten. It was replaced by excitement as he reeled and saw the fish. "Get the net, Jun, hurry!"  
  
And Jun just could not help but join in the excitement.  
  
As they caught more fish and ate one as sashimi on the boat and went to a restaurant near the marina to eat lunch from their catch, Nino's name was no longer mentioned. Ohno talked more about fish and Jun would give suggestions on how to cook them.  
  
+++++  
  
Nino woke up late that Saturday and found Aiba snuggled into the hugging pillow he gave Nino following his break up with Yuriko. He told himself to buy a set of futon later just in case his friend came crashing again so he did not have to share the sofa bed. He told himself that many times, but never really bought the set anyway. There was no place to keep it.  
  
In the end Aiba drank normal beer and opted to stay over. He said he had no obligation the next day anyway.  
  
"Make something to eat," he nudged his best friend at the side. He knew Aiba was no longer sleeping.  
  
"You have nothing in your fridge. We ate everything I brought," Aiba said, "Let's go to your mom and ask for breakfast." He reached for Nino’s handphone.  
  
"She's busy having a date with my father," Nino said, slapping away Aiba's hand from his phone.  
  
Aiba made a singsong voice. "Ninomiya papa is a romantic unlike his son."  
  
"He's not," Nino insisted, but then he mumbled, "He cooks really well, though. I hope he cooks lunches and dinners when he's around."  
  
"Go to your parents' house if you miss them," Aiba said, "you don't get to meet your father much."  
  
"I will meet him on Monday. I'm bound to go to work, right?" Nino got up and untangled himself from the blanket he shared with his best friend. "Beside, if I go there, I won't be able to sneak out for a free dinner in Azabu Juban."  
  
He stretched and tried to flatten his bed hair before he went to the kitchen to boil water for tea.  
  
"I take it, this is not a business dinner?" Aiba's curiosity made him to bother getting up and followed the other to the kitchen.  
  
"Nope."  
  
Aiba thought for a while, "You're meeting Kokubun Taichi!" as that was the only big name Nino might have dinner with and actually treat him. He remembered Nino complained to him how Subaru, that pop enka singer, ditched Nino with a bill to foot. Nino never agreed to have dinner or drink out with the singer anymore.  
  
"Boo!" was Nino's answer as he poured boiled water into a tea pot. The smell of genmaicha floated along with the steam.  
  
"Matsumoto Jun," he said then.  
  
"The mauve guy? He's scary." Aiba took two mugs from Nino's cupboard and put them by the teapot.  
  
"Jun-kun is nice," Nino said.  
  
"He might be using you for Ohno-san," Aiba cut short.  
  
"You said that he met Oh-chan already. So it doesn't matter anymore, right?" He flashed a tired smile to Aiba and went to pour tea for both of them. "Oh-chan does not belong to me. He belongs to Japan now."  
  
+++++  
  
They met in a small bar and grill in Azabu Juban. Jun waited for Nino in front of the restaurant to make sure he did not miss it. He noted that Nino looked the same as the time they met in Osaka, a pair of jeans, old t-shirt, and slip on shoes. He had no bag. His hair falling freely without styling. At a glance, he looked like someone in his early 20s. Jun, on the other hand, despite wearing only white shirt and blue jeans, had his hair styled and wore several rings and a silver necklace that peeped just above his collar.  
  
"Sorry to keep you waiting," Nino said politely as he smiled at Jun.  
  
Jun waved his hand, saying it was nothing and gestured Nino to follow him. They sat at the counter. Apparently the owner of the bar knew Jun.  
  
They had a round of beer accompanied by a plate of yakitori and sashimi that they shared. Nino asked Jun how the concert was, down to the details of song list and if there were interesting bits during the live. He actually heard everything from Yuriko already, but Jun's description was more precise and detailed.  
  
And Jun was nice enough to ask if Nino could overcome whatever the emergency that he had in his work place.  
  
"You own a factory!" Jun was quite surprised when he heard how Nino explained that a machine had trouble and they almost missed the deadline of spare parts that were subbed to them.  
  
"It's pretty small," Nino said, "left over from Showa era." He laughed and told Jun that he inherited the company from his grandfather because he was the only male descendant.  
  
Jun saw the pride in Nino's eyes when he told all of those. He had led the company for eleven years already, passing through the hardness of Japan's weakening economy, and had never lay off anyone yet. Jun told Nino that he worked for trading company that export and import food and beverages. And they found out that they were actually in the same school year.  
  
By the third beer, Nino's face looked flushed and he yawned a few times already.  
  
"Are you alright?" Jun asked.  
  
Nino gave a nod, but yawned again and his eyes fluttered.  
  
Jun laughed, "I didn't know you're this weak with alcohol. How did you manage to drink with your clients?"  
  
Nino just laughed and put his head on the cold table.  
  
"Come," Jun tapped on Nino's shoulder, "let's get you home. Come."  
  
He scooped Nino from under his arms and took him out the establishment. The smaller man leaned to him as he seemed to have lost his balance already. Small hand grabbing on Jun's t-shirt for hold.  
  
He grabbed a cab and helped Nino in before he went in as well.  
  
"Where to?" the taxi driver asked.  
  
Jun nudged Nino. "Where is your house? Or do you want to go to station instead?"  
  
"Katsushika," Nino mumbled, "Station is fine. It's too far from here."  
  
Jun looked at the man who seemed to start falling asleep and asked the driver to go to Katsushika. He prodded the other man for an address and when he could not get it, he tried finding it in Nino's wallet. There was a photograph in the wallet of two youngsters with guitars. Jun knew one of them was Nino and the other being Ohno, but he took his eyes away from the photograph and mentioned the address he found on Nino's ID card to the driver.  
  
+++++  
  
Nino was half asleep as he was dragged by Jun into his room and Jun felt rather guilty that he made the man too drunk when he actually meant to thank him for the ticket. Nino had given it for free, which Yuriko said very un-Nino like because Nino was a cheapskate. He put the man down on the sofa and took off Nino's shoes, half apologizing that he did not do it at the genkan instead. Nino said nothing. He had gone into sleep.  
  
Jun looked around, deciding that he had to take Nino into his bed instead of leaving him on the sofa. He walked to the door at the side of the room and opened it, thinking that he would find the bed he was looking for. He found instead a music room.  
  
He had seen the room before. Jun realized when he saw the acoustic guitar lying on the floor. It had a sticker identical to one of Ohno Satoshi’s guitar.  
  
There was a time that he found this guy who played covers of Ohno Satoshi's songs. The songs, however, sounded nothing like Ohno's songs melody, they sound like off key, and the comments given to that singer were harsh. He remembered the account disappeared soon after. Jun remembered, because he actually saved those videos, like he saved all the cover songs he had ever found on Ohno Satoshi.  
  
He remembered an anonymous reader of his blog mentioned to him, when he wrote that article on covers of Ohno Satoshi, where he re-uploaded one file for sample. "That guy was singing in harmony with Ohno-san. Try layering them together."  
  
Jun never tried layering them. He had no idea how. And he never approved the comment from appearing on his blog.  
  
He looked at Nino who was sleeping peacefully on the sofa bed and wondered if Ohno had actually watched the video and sang along to them.  
  
Jun found it romantic if it were true. He also felt jealous, but he was not sure if he was feeling jealous that Ohno and Nino shared this something that he would never understand, or jealous because he found someone who had been more devoted to Ohno Satoshi than him, or jealous because he would kill to have someone giving him such devotion.  
  
+++++  
  
Nino woke up with a slight headache. He had his blanket wrapped around him and wondered if he actually manage to go home and took the blanket from the balcony even if he were so drunk. Usually he found himself on awkward position on the sofa or the floor without even bothering to put the blanket on nor arrange his pillows for sleeping.  
  
"Shit!" He jerked up as his mind registered of what might have happened. "Jun!"  
  
He found his phone on the coffee table and sent a message of apology.  
  
The mail stayed unreplied for days after.  
  
Nino figured that he might have been such a nuisance and did not bother to send another message.    
  
+++++  
  
"You don't go out with me lately," is what Jun's best friend said when he opened the door that evening.  
  
Jun had to admit, he had spent all his weekends for his fandom lately, going to all the dome concerts and then fishing trip with Ohno and dinner with Nino. He had not seen his best friend for a month.  
  
"Come in," he said, and Toma slid into his apartment.  
  
"I brought drinks and we can order something," Toma put the plastic bag on the the floor and grabbed Jun's remote control to browse on Jun's TV. He eyed Jun who walked to laptop and put the stack of hard disks into their places, and knew that his best friend was still in his fanboy mode.  
  
"How was the concerts? Did you get to meet Ohno?" Toma asked. He knew he could just open his phone and browsed the internet to find Jun's meticulous concert report, but Toma was not a fan of Ohno Satoshi and he had little interest on the meticulous parts. Who cares if Ohno Satoshi wore glitter on the lapel of his jacket or not during which song?  
  
"They were nice," Jun answered. He walked over to grab Toma's plastic bag, took out two cans of beer and put the rest in his fridge.  
  
Toma raised an eyebrow. Usually Jun would answer in toned down detail. If he remembered that Toma cared nothing about his favorite singer, he would mentioned if the singer played the songs that he liked or the most interesting part from the MC. It was not normal to find Jun saying only one sentence for Ohno Satoshi's concerts.  
  
"Just nice?" Toma asked.  
  
"They were nice."  
  
Toma looked at his best friend and waited for the hurl of details. Jun sometimes try to look cool when it comes to hiding his goofy fanboy life, something that failed completely in front of Toma.  
  
"You're not interested with Ohno Satoshi," Jun said, going around the sofa and sat on the carpet next to Toma.  
  
Toma laughed.  
  
"I'm still interested in you to want to know about the concerts," Toma said after his laugh died down.  
  
If this were the time when they just finished high school, the words might give out awkwardness between them. Jun confessed to Toma after graduation and Toma, being a straight guy who had no idea at all that his best friend had been into him, rejected Jun.  
  
Jun grabbed one beer from the table and opened it. He kept quiet for a while, obviously considering whether to say about it or not, while Toma waited, changing the TV channel again.  
  
"I met a guy," Jun said finally.  
  
"Is he cute?"  
  
Jun sighed. "It's not that kind of guy. And he had a girlfriend before."  
  
"And you're confused because he is straight?"  
  
"No. I mean, I don't know. He's a fan of Ohno and they kind of know each other." Jun looked up and met Toma's eyes. "You will definitely laugh at me."  
  
He took a gulp of beer and told Toma to stop browsing the TV by stealing the remote and let the screen showed a music show. Ohno was not in the show that night, though.  
  
"I will try my best not to laugh."  
  
Toma laughed in the end and earned a slap on his forehead from Jun.  
  
"I only haven't met you for a while and now you're already fishing buddy with your favorite singer!" Toma exclaimed, "You're kidding me, right?"  
  
"That's not the point I want to tell you." And Jun threw a pillow at Toma. "These two people are just hopeless."  
  
"Why don't you just make them meet?"  
  
"I don't want to."  
  
"Because you don't want Ohno taken away from you?" Toma scoffed, "He's not yours to begin with, fanboy!"  
  
"I'm not sure myself. I'm getting obsessed with Nino."  
  
Jun spent his time after going back from Nino's place digging for old files from his hard drives. He searched for free sound editing program on the internet and spent hours reading tutorials and tried editing those videos as soon as he arrived home from work. There were seven songs altogether, each of them perfectly layered on Ohno Satoshi's recording, and Jun could not help but marveled how the songs became richer with an addition of higher pitch singer. He had them transferred into his music player and listened to them on train rides to and from home.  
  
"Are you even sure it's him?" Toma asked, "you said the man in the video did not show his face."  
  
"The guitar I saw in his house was the exact same guitar. There was this sticker that is exactly the same as the one on Ohno's guitar. I remember it perfectly. And the hands."  
  
Small hands that wrapped around his hand as he tucked Nino into his sofa bed.  
  
"Jun," Toma said, "I think you're falling in love."  
  
"I'm not. This is just a part of my obsession with Ohno Satoshi. He just happens to be a part of it."  
  
He stayed quiet for a moment and then jump up. "Let's go out for a drink. Staying home makes me think of weird things."  
  
"But I bought drinks already," Toma protested, but he followed anyway.  
  
They went to a bar that they often visit. It had two billiard tables and dart game. The bartender was an elderly dandy man who sometimes made original mixes by request.  
  
"Matsumoto! Ikuta!" the bartender greeted, taking off the honorifics despite them being customers.  
  
"The mauve guy!" Jun heard someone said, and came face to face with crescent eyes that smiled radiantly.  
  
"Aiba-san," he greeted politely, "It's Matsumoto Jun." But Jun could not help but smiled back.  
  
"What a coincidence!"  
  
"You know each other?" The bartender asked, "both of you are regulars, how come you only met now?" He pushed a glass of high ball to Jun.  
  
"We just recently got acquainted," Jun said.  
  
"He's a friend of my childhood friend, apparently," Aiba chirped, "and we met at Ohno Satoshi's live in Osaka."  
  
"Childhood friend? Nino?" A different voice came up and Jun found another guy, shorter than him, with rather curly hair and rather puppy face.  
  
"Yeah. Nino." He then introduced the new guy to Jun, "this is Kazama. He actually was in the same junior high school with Nino."  
  
"Matsumoto Jun," Jun introduced himself, "and this is Ikuta Toma."  
  
"Call me Toma."  
  
Jun felt awkward at the beginning, but Aiba's cheerie behavior was infectious and he became relaxed soon.  
  
"So Kazama here works for Pro Stage, he's part of the design team for Ohno-san's stage too," Aiba explained, "I was so surprised to see him during, what? Two? Three years ago meeting and he was there."  
  
"That was the first time I joined for Ohno Satoshi's team. I was in a different team when I first entered the company."  
  
"It feels like the world is really small." Aiba giggled, "and you and I are apparently regulars in this place, right, Master?"  
  
"Maybe you have drunk side by side before," the bartender said.  
  
Toma was looking amused. He came to liking Aiba and already exchanging mails from their phones.  
  
"We should call Nino!" Kazama was the one saying that after a while. He took out his phone and called.  
  
"He's not coming," Aiba said, laughing, "too far from his house."  
  
"Nino? It's Kazama.... Wait, let me put you on speaker. I'm with Aiba now." He pushed the speaker button and put the phone on the table.  
  
The master kindly turned down the volume of the music. The bar was empty safe from the four of them anyway.  
  
"I'm not going out," was the first thing that came out from the speaker, "Not even if you pay the drink and taxi fare."  
  
Toma was already laughing. "Your friend is interesting," he said.  
  
"Who's that?"  
  
Toma introduced himself. "I just got acquainted with Aiba-san and Kazama-san."  
  
"I have another proof that the world is small. Guess who is also a regular at this bar?" Aiba asked.  
  
"Uh... The prime minister?"  
  
"Wrong! Try harder."  
  
"Michael Jackson?"  
  
"Boo!! But close enough."  
  
Jun raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Just tell me who is...."  
  
"It's me, Jun," he finally said to the phone.  
  
"Oh!"  
  
And there was silence.  
  
"Just wondering if you're OK after that night. You were so drunk."  
  
"You could at least ask that by replying my mail," came a snarky reply.  
  
Jun noticed the way Aiba eyed him and felt the atmosphere changed. He had to change the pace.  
  
"Sorry, I was caught up with things and forgot to reply," Jun tried saying it casually and laughed a little. But he was an awful liar to begin with and the laugh came as flat.  
  
"Ne, Nino," Aiba said, taking over the conversation, "Me and Kazama are going to play baseball again in two weeks. Wanna come? I'm calling Kamenashi as well."  
  
"Sure. Tell me the details."  
  
Aiba and Kazama said their goodbye to the phone and wish Nino to slay as many monsters as possible and obtain stacks of gold before Kazama turned off the phone.  
  
"Don't worry about Nino," Aiba said to Jun, "He can be difficult at times. But you'd better reply his mail, or he would feel you don't want to have anything to do with him. He's more clingy than he would want to believe."  
  
Jun nodded.  
  
"Let's play something," Toma dragged them to the billiard table to lighten up the mood.  
  
+++++  
  
[Lunch this weekend? To payback for taking me home. I'll drive, so I can't drink.]  
  
Jun found the mail a few days after his meeting with Aiba at the bar.  
  
[I'm free on Sunday.] Jun replied. [Where should we meet?]  
  
[I'll pick you up at 11:30. Tell me where is best.]  
  
+++++  
  
Nino picked him up at Jun's nearest station. He drove a small hybrid car that has standard light grey paint on it.  
  
"Get in!" Nino opened the door without even getting of his driver's seat. There was again that impish smile that gave twinkle in his eyes.  
  
"Where are we going?" Jun asked as he buckled himself.  
  
"You'll see."  
  
From the car sound system, game song was playing.  
  
"Would you rather listen to Oh-chan's songs?" Nino asked.  
  
"No, this one is fine."  
  
They were silent for a while until Nino pulled into toll road and headed towards Hachiouji.  
  
"Hachiouji?" Jun asked.  
  
"Yup. We're going for a soba place."  
  
"The one near Takao-san?"  
  
"No. Not that one."  
  
They arrived at a small establishment in a neighborhood unfamiliar to Jun. The place looked like it was built on Showa era, in the back alley of an empty shopping street, which Jun was not sure whether it was because of Sunday, or if that place had turned into a shutter town.  
  
Nino took Jun to sit on one of the very few tables in the shop. An elderly woman came and took order. She seemed to know Nino, from the way she said that he had not seen Nino for quite a while.  
  
"Miyamoto-san's tororo soba is the best," Nino said.  
  
The woman laughed sheepishly. "Actually, our specialty is tempura soba. But he cannot really eat fried food." She pointed at Nino, "So he always have tororo."  
  
"I'll take tempura soba, then," Jun said.  
  
"Oh, by the way, Ohno-san came by the other day," the woman said, after telling the order to the kitchen, "He said he's going to work on new songs."  
  
"Ohno-san comes here?" Jun was surprised.  
  
"He used to study at a university nearby," Miyamoto said, "and came here quite often for food. He still does."  
  
The elderly lady continued speaking, while Nino watched her fondly.  
  
"To think that he actually became famous like that.... He sometime fell asleep after meal at the counter, and he was always, really, always, have dirty t-shirt on with paint drops. Can't be helped since he studied art, but don't they have apron or sort that they can use to protect their clothes?"  
  
"Maiko, let our guests eat their meal," said an elderly man who came with a tray of Jun's order. "Eat it while the tempura is hot."  
  
He then returned again with Nino's tororo soba and dragged his wife back to the kitchen.  
  
"Are you taking me here because of Ohno-san?" Jun asked after a few bites of his meal. He had to admit that the soba he was eating was one of the best he had ever eaten, though. But he just could not help asking.  
  
Nino shook his head. "This is a good place to eat. The soba tastes good, right?"  
  
Jun nodded.  
  
"I knew this place from Oh-chan," Nino continued, "and keep coming here even after his debut. It's nice for a runaway, this place. It's far away from my place. I didn't know he still comes by."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"I heard that you met Oh-chan after the Tokyo Dome live."  
  
Jun nodded. "I told him you're not coming."  
  
Nino's eyes changed, but he said nothing.  
  
"I'm sorry. He was looking for someone at the send off, and I thought it's just better to tell him that you're not there. I kind of thought he was looking for you." Jun paused, taking a bite of his ebi tempura, and chewed it rather slowly to buy time, half expecting Nino to snap at him, but it did not come. Nino stayed slurping his soba little by little.  
  
"Look, I'm sorry, even if I have no idea what I need to apologize about," Jun said again, "What is this cold war that you and Ohno-san hold all this time? I invited him for dinner with you and he declined, saying you'd just run away if he was around."  
  
"It's just awkwardness, it's really nothing."  
  
"It's so weird of you not wanting to meet him yet writing really thick letters and always appear on his send off."  
  
"Jun, please don't...."  
  
Jun sighed. "I really don't understand you."  
  
Nino returned his gaze with forlorned eyes.  
  
"Neither do I."  
  
Jun almost, almost, reached out to hold Nino, but he reached his cold tea instead and took a gulp.  
  
"I listened again to the videos you uploaded a few years ago," Jun said, after trying hard to find topic that had nothing to do with Ohno Satoshi, but failed.  
  
"Videos?"  
  
"The one you sang Ohno-san's songs out of tune."  
  
"Oh those?" Nino chuckled, but the laugh did not reach his eyes, "I was drunk when I recorded them. Didn't know anyone still remember those."  
  
"I tried layering them to Ohno-san's recordings. They fit perfectly. I like them."  
  
Nino's eyes lit up. "You do?"  
  
"I've been listening to them everyday now."  
  
There was a tint of red spreading on Nino's cheeks and at the tips of Nino's ears and he covered them by ducking his face and gobbled more soba from his bowl.  
  
"You should do it more often. I'll be looking forward to them."  
  
Nino gave him a sincere smile, but he shook his head. "I don't think I want to do it anymore," he paused, the playful grin came back, "But if you want to sing duet with me, I can arrange one of Oh-chan's song to fit our voices and upload it online."  
  
"I don't think I can pull up something like that," Jun said sheepishly, "I'm not good at singing."  
  
"You never know until you try." Nino winked, "Are you scared?"  
  
"Am not."  
  
+++++  
  
That's how Jun came back to Nino's place the next weekend, a little unsure why he took up the challenge to record a song together, let alone uploading them for the world to see. Yet Nino promised that they did not need to show their faces because he did not want to be known by public either.  
  
Nino let him into the music room where he already set up two stools to sit on and gave him a pair of maracas. "Just shake this one-two one-two pattern like this," he said as he gave an example. "You sing Ohno's melody, I'll do the harmony. That should be easy for you, right?"  
  
Jun nodded. He was a little unsure of what was going to happen, but he followed through. And Nino picked up his guitar.  
  
"Let's practice a few times, and we'll record."  
  
It was more exciting than what Jun had thought. And Nino gave him tips on how to change the part where Ohno sang in notes too high to fit Jun's voice. Jun liked singing, but so far he had only done it in the shower or in karaoke. And when he sang in karaoke, he would not sing seriously, because most people went to karaoke for drinking and socialize, not to sing wholeheartedly.    
  
Nino was very open to Jun's interpretations on the song and adjusted willingly. Not all the time, though. He would argue if he felt his version was better, but he would relent to record Jun's idea and asked Jun to compare.  
  
"You're supposed to work in production. You're meticulous as hell," Nino said that evening, as they sat down on Nino's sofa bed. They have decided on which version to upload and now settling down for coffee while the sun outside started to fall into the horizon, and gave Nino's room orange hue.  
  
"So do you," Jun smiled, happily sipping his coffee.  
  
There, Jun saw that sad smile again.  
  
"It's not for me," Nino said.  
  
"Can't you do both? I mean your work and this?"  
  
"Not professionally." He chuckled, "I still write songs. But nobody listens to them."  
  
This time Jun did not stop his hand from reaching towards Nino's wrist. "Can I? Listen to them?"  
  
The question hung in the air as Nino stared at him with surprised look, until Jun snapped his hand away from Nino's wrist. "Ah, that sounds really awkward, right?"  
  
Nino tore away his sight from Jun, hiding his face as the blush appeared again.  
  
"It has nothing to do with Ohno Satoshi's works, though."  
  
"Does it all have to have anything to do with him?"  
  
Nino shook his head.  
  
Jun felt the time stretched as they looked into each other's eyes. Then Nino broke the eye contact and walked to his fridge. Jun finally breathed again, wiping his sweaty hands on his lap.  
  
"Do you want to have dinner here? I have left over from the factory." He asked. "My mother cooks for everyone's lunch, and I get to keep leftovers."  
  
"Yeah, sure."  
  
_I'm doomed_ , Jun thought, _I keep on falling for straight guy_.  
  
+++++  
  
"How come I get to be Murasaki Imo?" Jun called that night, after Nino sent him the link to the video they recorded before. How come Nino arbitrarily nicknamed him Murasaki Imo, purple sweet potato, while Nino could be Kaz.  
  
"Because Aiba always calls you the Mauve Guy."  
  
"Then can't I just be called Mauve?"  
  
"But murasaki imo is sweet."  
  
_Did Nino intended to say that he’s sweet?_ Jun sighed in defeat. "Don't call me imo. I'm not out of fashion."  
  
Nino laughed. "Sorry. I forgot to ask you to give me a nickname."  
  
"You did this on purpose."  
  
There came Nino's laugh again. "Yes. Sorry." A pause, "What do you want for nickname?"  
  
"Can't I just be 'Jun' there? Like Jun and Kaz. It's simple, but not too memorable. Because neither of us wanted to be famous."  
  
Nino changed the name of their duo into Jun &Kazu instead. And Jun felt his heart leap because there was no space between their names.  
  
+++++  
  
Satoshi kept looking out the window whenever he had time off from his recording, looking across the street and searching for something.  
  
"Are you looking for him?" Sho stood beside him, handing a bottle of mineral water for the singer.  
  
Satoshi sighed. Not really answering.  
  
"Maybe he's busy," Sho said again, "He might come tomorrow. It's still Saturday. He might have work to do today."  
  
He put a hand on the singer's shoulder. "They're asking if your throat has cooled down a little."  
  
Satoshi nodded and went back to the recording room.  
  
Sho walked over where Masaki sat, working on list of itineraries for the release of the new single in a month.  
  
"Masaki," he called.  
  
"Yes?" The assistant answered without taking his eyes away from the computer screen.  
  
"Do you know why Satoshi's stalker is not around?"  
  
Masaki almost choke. "Huh? Who?"  
  
"Nino."  
  
"I have no idea what you're talking about."  
  
Masaki looked up and found Sho looking at him knowingly. He swallowed.  
  
"You know him."  
  
"I have no idea...."  
  
Sho sat down. "I let it pass because Satoshi likes having him around. Don't think I am that stupid to not realize who has been giving tips to that stalker. Not just you, others too."  
  
"I really have no idea." Masaki insisted.  
  
"Masaki...."  
  
"Do you want me to call him?" Masaki sighed.  
  
Sho nodded. "If that makes Satoshi happy and productive, then yes, by all means."  
  
He took out his phone and dialed Nino's number.  
  
"Just don't tell that you've been told to ask him," Sho asked.  
  
Masaki nodded as Nino picked up the phone on the other side.  
  
"Hey, are you busy? ... No, I'm just wondering because I haven't seen you around.... Who's that? ... Jun? As in the Mauve Guy? ... Oh? Okay. I'll talk to you later.... Oh, Nino... No, nothing. We're recording a new single now.... Yeah, the usual place.... Look, I have to go now. Someone is coming. Yeah.... See you."  
  
He disconnected the phone and looked up to his superior. "Since when?" he asked.  
  
"Since quite a long time ago," Sho said, "but I only confirmed it in Nagoya. You were talking to him."  
  
"I have to apologize, right?" the assistant asked, "Maybe resign as well. I mean, you basically got me giving details which should not go out...."  
  
Sho cleared his throat. "You should."  
  
Masaki felt cold on his spine.  
  
"But," Sho continued, "Actually Satoshi stopped me from prying about this matter two, three years ago. He said he knew all along."  
  
"Oh?"  
  
"Satoshi knew you were the one giving tips to that guy. And he was happy you did so. That's why I let it pass."  
  
"I apologize, still." Masaki bowed.  
  
Sho sighed, "It's alright. I'll keep on pretending I don't know."  
  
Masaki bowed again. "Thank you. Thank you very much."  
  
"But is this really alright with them?" Sho gestured towards the recording room where Satoshi was. "I have no idea at all what happened with them, but I think they should start talking by now. It's been years."  
  
Masaki returned to his work, but then he paused. "Sho-chan," he called.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Nino told me, actually, he was starting to give up on Ohno-san. Whatever that means."  
  
+++++  
  
"Who was that?" Jun asked. It had become their past time to record Ohno Satoshi's song during weekend. And after, Nino would pick some songs from his own library and sang for Jun. Sometimes he would play with guitar, sometimes he would play with piano. Today was one of those days again.  
  
"Aiba-shi."  
  
"Oh? How is he? I haven't met him at the bar again."  
  
"Busy. They're recording again this weekend. He's asking why I haven't showed up yet," Nino said as he put down his phone on his working table.  
  
"Are you going there?" Jun was surprised that he did not sound as excited as he thought he would. In fact he would rather not have Nino roaming around to stalk their favorite singer.  
  
"Tomorrow, maybe. I don't know."  
  
"Nino," Jun started, but he did not continue, because Nino cut him off.  
  
"Do you want to go too?" He grinned, "You'll love the area. There's this coffee shop right in front of the studio and there's a table by the window where you can easily look across."  
  
Jun could not help but nodded even if he felt it was wrong. It felt so wrong. Not just the stalking part, but the fact that he felt that tinge of jealousy to see Nino talking about Ohno Satoshi, even if he was sharing that moment with Jun, self-proclaimed most devoted fan of Ohno Satoshi.  
  
+++++  
  
"He's here," Satoshi murmured in a singsong way as he leaned at the window during lunch break, pretending not to look across the street.  
  
Sho looked at Masaki and mouthed a thank you secretly.  
  
Masaki pretended not to see anything, and felt guilty towards Nino instead. He sent a mail to Nino, asking when they could have dinner together.  
  
+++++  
  
"He's looking at you," Jun said.  
  
"I know."  
  
"I really don't get what you two are doing." Jun sighed, "Why not just go there and talk to him? I bet nobody will stop you."  
  
Nino busied himself stirring his black coffee despite not putting any sugar in. Jun tore his sight away from the window. It was true, he liked the ambience in the coffee shop. It had rustic interior and nice easy listening jazz on the background. Somewhere Jun would love to spend an evening with a good book for hours.  
  
"It's really getting confusing, right?" Nino said. "I don't remember when exactly, but I started going around following him. I don't even understand this anymore."  
  
"Can I ask why? Why you're doing this."  
  
Nino looked out the window towards the recording studio, but his eyes looked far off.  
  
"Yuriko said I could not let go of Oh-chan, she thinks I'm jealous," Nino said slowly, "but I think she got it all wrong. I think I can't let go of my dream, and Oh-chan is the nearest I could get to it."  
  
"It's funny," Nino continued, "Recording all those songs with you actually made me distracted. Arranging songs again, writing again...." His voice trailed off. "Is it alright to just stop all of this and sing my original songs once in awhile.... While I'm not sure myself if Oh-chan would be okay without me."  
  
Jun stayed quiet. Ohno always talked about Nino in his radio show, in the magazine and TV interviews. There were many occasions where Ohno mentioned about detailed criticisms and inputs he had from his friend. Jun had not know it was actually one person, but after Jun met Nino and Ohno Satoshi in person, he realized that Ohno had always talked about one person.  
  
"You should talk to him," Jun said, "in person."  
  
Nino shook his head. "Let it be like this. It's comfortable."  
  
"Nino...."  
  
"Let's not talk about this," Nino looked up at Jun and grinned a smile that again did not reach the eyes..  
  
"You know what? Let's leave this place," Jun said, standing up, "Accompany me shopping. I need to buy new shoes for work."  
  
+++++  
  
"You've been sighing," Shun said, poking at Jun's arm. They were staying late in the office again, just the two of them.  
  
"Really?" Jun stretched his body and loosened his tie. "I must be really tired. I didn't get enough rest these days."  
  
Shun grinned, "A girl?"  
  
Jun laughed. Shun did not know.  
  
"One-sided love?"  
  
"Kind of," Jun admitted. "That person still has baggage."  
  
"Ouch."  
  
"But at least there's no pretending on it. It's not like I have no idea at all."  
  
Shun stopped typing. "And you're OK with it?"  
  
Jun massaged the bridge of his nose. "Not at all. But it can't be helped."  
  
"Man up, Jun," Shun slapped his shoulder. "Go and tell the girl to forget it and be with you."  
  
"Maybe I should," Jun sighed again, "But I don't think it will work"  
  
_He's not gay anyway._  
  
"Come on, we need to finish this as soon as possible. My wife is waiting," Shun gave another slap on Jun's shoulder and resumed his work.  
  
+++++  
  
"I need to apologize to you," Aiba finally said it after fidgeting the whole time he was having dinner with Nino in that izakaya.  
  
"Why?"  
  
Aiba put both of his hands on his lap and bowed. "Sakurai-san found out that I leaked the schedule to you."  
  
"Shit!" Nino was speechless for a while, but then he hurriedly asking, "Wait, are you okay? Did you get reprimanded? I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have put you into this. I- I'm the one who's supposed to apologize. Not you."  
  
"No, no, I'm fine," Aiba looked up and met his friend's eyes. "He did not even reprimand me. He had known all along. Ohno-san knows too. He was the one who told Sakurai-san not to pursue the matter."  
  
"Remember I called you last weekend?" Aiba continued.  
  
Nino nodded.  
  
"It was Sakurai-san who asked me to call you. Ohno-san didn't know about it."  
  
"I see." Nino turned back to the table and downed his lemon sour in one go. "Did he say anything?"  
  
Aiba shook his head, "Nothing, really."  
  
"Aiba-shi," Nino said after a very long pause where he poked his plate with a stick of yakitori, "You don't have to tell me anymore about the schedule."  
  
"Are you really giving up?"  
  
"I guess." He took a deep breath and sighed. "I have early day tomorrow. Let's head back."  
  
Aiba looked at his watch. "Can I stay over? The last train has just passed."  
  
+++++  
  
The were lying side by side on Nino's sofa bed. It was put down to make a queen size bed so it fit two grown up males in one bed. Nino still had not bought extra futon.  
  
"Are you sleeping yet?" Aiba asked after a long time staying awake. Nino's back was facing him and he could make out the up and down of Nino's silhouette as he breathed.  
  
"No."  
  
"I will still tell you Ohno-san's schedule," Aiba said, half whispering. "I think Ohno-san needs you too. He was anxious before you showed up."  
  
"Was he?"  
  
"Don't you think it's going to be easier to just talk to him straightly? Aren't you both tiring yourself with all this?" Aiba asked, "I'm not asking you to suddenly come to him, but you should really consider it. This is really not healthy."  
  
"I know that already."  
  
"Then why are you keep on doing this?" Aiba scooted closer.  
  
"I don't know how to stop." It was a very quiet answer, Aiba almost missed it.  
  
"Talk to him. I can arrange something."  
  
"I don't know what to say."  
  
"Yet you always write the longest fan letter."  
  
A sigh. "It's different."  
  
"Then how about not saying anything?"  
  
"And?"  
  
"I don't know, give him a hug?"  
  
A scoff. "You think everything could be solved with a hug?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"You're so stupid," Nino said, and Aiba could make out the back moved as Nino chuckled. Then Nino held his hand over his shoulder and asked for Aiba's hand. "Give me a proof," he said again.  
  
And Aiba hugged Nino from behind until they both fell asleep.  
  
+++++  
  
"Nino is not a case of erotomania," Miyake said bluntly, without any preamble to it.  
  
They were on top of the office building, smoking cigarette after meeting for production managers.  
  
Sakurai rolled his eyes.  
  
"Not necessarily mentally healthy, per se. But it's not erotomania like you think it is," Miyake said, "Jealousy, maybe. But rather than being jealous of Ohno-kun, he might be more jealous of you,"  
  
"Huh?" Sakurai stab his cigarette into the water provided by the ash tray, and lingered there despite he had finished his limit of one cigarette per break.  
  
"I heard you cornered Aiba-kun to make a phone call to him," Miyake said again, his tone accusing.  
  
"Did Aiba-kun told you about this?" Sho hated when the line of work is bypassed. Miyake Ken was his senior in the management company by several years.  
  
Miyake shook his head. "No. Nino told me. We went out for a drink last night. Apparently Aiba-kun is too honest to his friend."  
  
"Oh?" Sho scoffed, "Why is everybody playing behind my back with this Nino? Who is he anyway? I first thought he's just a harmless stalker, but then I realized he knows a lot of people in this office. Even Ohno-san told me not to reprimand Aiba-kun after I found out he was the one feeding information to him."  
  
"Sakurai-kun," Miyake threw the cigarette butt into the water, "Ohno was supposed to debut with Nino. But there were circumstances on Nino's side that he could not sign the contract." He cleared his throat and took a deep breath, "But he's actually very talented, and some of our musicians actually still jam with him at times. I still do."  
  
"I did not know that."  
  
"You were never in a band," Miyake laughed, "They were quite known in Setagaya area. They had self-made album too. The CD should be somewhere in this office. After all, Kondo-san found them through listening to the CD."  
  
"How come nobody told me about this?" Sakurai sulked, "I've been working in this office for more than eight years, and have always handled Ohno Satoshi."  
  
"Well, nobody thought there would be complications. Nino is like everybody's secret. But nobody knew which part of informations on Ohno-kun is told to him by which person." Miyake laughed until his eyes formed two crescent shapes.  
  
"Why do I suddenly feel like I have been his victim all along?" Sho reached for another cigarette in the end. He inhaled deeply from his cigarette and exhaled with a sigh. "What should I do now?"  
  
"Take a very good care of Ohno-kun," Miyake said, "Nino decided to stop."  
  
"Ohno-kun has been anxious lately. He doesn't say it, but it's because Nino hasn't shown up lately."  
  
Miyake raised an eyebrow. "That's new to me. I don't know Ohno-kun that well. Even before he signed with us, we hardly talked."  
  
"He's more perceptive than most people think he is." Sho sighed again, "Ohno-kun has this dependency on Nino's comments. That I know. But he gives sound advices. I have to admit."  
  
"Those will disappear soon."  
  
"Ohno-kun will be sad."  
  
Miyake gave a pat on on Sakurai's shoulder. And Sakurai stayed there for another ten minutes even if his schedule for break had finished.  
  
He found the CD that Miyake was talking about in one of the archive boxes in the company's storage and ended up listening to it until morning.  
  
+++++  
  
[Are you going to Ohno's signing tomorrow? You haven't told me you're going or not.]  
  
Nino saw the message from Yuriko.  
  
There would be a signing session for Ohno Satoshi's new single in Tower Records Shibuya the next day. Nino had both types of singles in his possession now. They were lying by the stereo set.  
  
[I'm not going.]  
  
[Do you want me to put your letter in for you?]  
  
Nino looked at the paper on the table. He still wrote them, comments on the CD, but he had decided he would stop.  
  
[I have no letter.] he replied.  
  
[Are you OK? You never missed writing before.]  
  
[I'm just busy. I'm fine. Sorry.]  
  
He took the letter and put it inside his drawer.  
  
+++++  
  
Satoshi went through the fan letters again but there was no familiar white envelope with familiar small letters on it. Nino had never missed any signings before. Even if he could not come in person, his letter would miraculously appear inside the fan-gift box.  
  
"Ohno-san," one of the staffs called him, "We're going to stand by in five minutes."  
  
"I'll be there."  
  
+++++  
  
Jun turned off the TV. He just came back from office and the first thing he did was to check the recording of the music show that he set up before going to work. Ohno Satoshi was promoting his latest single there. But something was off. If anything, he looked sulky and not really listening to the host of the show.  
  
He grabbed his phone and mailed the singer.  
  
[I saw your performance. I like your song.]  
  
He paused, and continued,  
  
[But I think you could have sung more passionately and not sulking at the TV host.]  
  
He pushed send before he changed his mind.  
  
The reply came to him after three hours, just when Jun was almost asleep.  
  
[Fishing? Saturday 5am. The same place.]  
  
Jun said yes to the invitation.  
  
+++++  
  
The weather was colder than the first time they went for fishing. This time Ohno was aiming for a different fish, with different lures. Jun watched again as the singer prepared both his and Jun's fishing rod.  
  
"How is Nino doing?" asked the singer in the end, after they have talked about fish of the season and how to catch and cook them.  
  
Jun had been waiting for the question all along. Nino had been spending the weekends with him, weekends which had been used to follow around Ohno Satoshi. Aiba had told him too, when they met at the bar, that Nino had not sent any comment letters for the last two singles.  
  
"He has been playing games lately," Jun said. Nino had been playing games whenever he came over. They had not recorded anything new yet, Nino saying he had too much to think for the factory and had no time to rearrange the song, but he would still took his guitar and played his original song to Jun. At very rare times, Jun found other guests at Nino's place on Sunday afternoons, jamming together.  
  
Ohno let out a humm. "Nino plays game for distraction."  
  
"He said the had a lot in the factory."  
  
Ohno let out another humm. "I saw you with him during the recording three months ago."  
  
Jun nodded, "He took me with him."  
  
Another humm. "It seems like you’re taking him away from me. Is that what you want?"  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"Just wondering." Ohno's face was still flat and unreadable and sleepy looking. "Ever since you came around, everything started to fall apart."  
  
"Ohno-san, this is getting creepy." Jun unconsciously took a step away from the singer.  
  
Ohno laughed. It sounded genuinely amused. "I'm not going to do you any harm. Don't worry." He looked at Jun, "Could you send him a message from me?"  
  
Jun turned his face away. "Why don't you tell that to him yourself? I don't like being used as a messenger."  
  
"I don't have his contact."  
  
Jun thought for a while and said, "Come with me this evening. I'm going to his place."  
  
+++++  
  
Ohno came with Jun in the end. Jun rented a car to drive to Nino's place, considering that train ride with a famous singer might be chaotic. They brought one of the fish they caught from the fishing trip, cleaned, because Jun ensured Ohno that Nino's kitchen was very minimalistic.  
  
"What is this?" was what Nino said when he opened the door and found Ohno Satoshi tagging along with Jun.  
  
"Fish, freshly caught and will be our dinner," Jun said as he pushed himself into Nino's apartment.  
  
"I meant this, Jun." Nino pointed at the singer, clearly upset to find the surprise. But he let the singer in anyway and even gave him a pair of the guest slippers.  
  
"He wants to say something to you, and I hate playing messenger. So I take him along to tell you himself," Jun made way to the kitchen and started preparing dinner, pretending he was in a different world.  
  
Ohno looked around the house. "You moved out from your parents'."  
  
"Obviously."  
  
They both stood rooted by the genkan.  
  
"I haven't seen you for a while."  
  
Nino stayed silent.  
  
"You haven't sent me your comments for two singles. I've been waiting."  
  
"I was busy at the factory. I didn't have time."  
  
"You have time for your games."  
  
Nino found himself walking to the sofa and sat there, taking a pillow and put it on his lap before resuming his game.  
  
Ohno walked closer and stood by the sofa.  
  
"I need you to support me," he said bluntly.  
  
Nino did not reply. He kept his eyes glued to the characters on the screen.  
  
"You said you're going to produce me. I'm still waiting."  
  
"I said if nobody produced you when you're 25. You already passed your tenth anniversary."  
  
Ohno went on his knees and made his eyes level to Nino's. "I'd still be waiting until you produce me."  
  
"You know I can't." Nino's voice cracked.  
  
"It doesn't matter if the project goes on for a long time. I'll fit to your schedule."  
  
"No," Nino stole a glance towards the kitchen. Jun still pretending not to hear anything, although by proximity between the sofa and the kitchen counter, he definitely had heard everything.  
  
Ohno fell silent. He reached out for Nino's hands, "I will be waiting for your letters."  
  
Then he stood up and announced that he's leaving. Jun offered to order a cab, but Ohno declined the offer saying he would walk to the station. And he left.  
  
Jun washed his hands and came to Nino as Ohno left the room. The game gave out game over sign but Nino had not restarted for a while. He gave Nino a hug and murmured that he was sorry he took Ohno along with him.  
  
"Do you want me to leave?" Jun asked in the end.  
  
Nino shook his head. "No. Stay."  
  
+++++  
  
Aiba handed an envelope on Ohno's lap a week after.  
  
"Jun asked me to hand it over to you," he sighed, "This is the first and last time Jun and I allow ourselves to be your messengers."  
  
Sakurai eyed the two with curious eyes. He knew the envelopes were from Nino.  
  
Ohno opened the envelope eagerly, reading every bits of comments on his two singles. At the end of the letter he found a phone number and an email address, along with a short message.  
  
 "You know where I live already. Come over when you have time."  
  
The singer smile bloomed.  
  
+++++  
  
Jun saw the TV billboard when he walked from the subway station to the office. It was Ohno Satoshi advertising his eleventh anniversary single.  
  
He sent a message.  
  
[Your song is released today.]  
  
The reply came soon after.  
  
[Please buy all versions.]  
  
Jun smiled to see the reply. He had pre-ordered all three versions anyway.  
  
[I did. Happy birthday!]

**Author's Note:**

> ... was intended for a birthday fic.  
>  but it grow into a monster and I missed the date.
> 
>  
> 
> Oh, and a bit of explanation on the part where Jun protested when Nino put Murasaki Imo as his online name. Murasaki imo is a type of sweet potato with purple color, which is famous from Okinawa. It is very sweet and good. However, "imo" is also used to call people who are out of fashion and not stylish. Usually students from imperial universities are called imo. I learned about this from my Japanese teacher who said that the students in my previous university were all imo.


End file.
